Just Simple Times

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Tag: divorce

Physical Abuse

WARNING:  PICTURES AND  STORIES ARE HEART-WRENCHING, PLEASE BE PREPARED!!!

This is a tough topic for me because it hits home, both on a personal level as a victim and with others that I know that have been abused also. 

Please be patient as you read this and do not judge, it is not anybody’s place to judge but God’s.

This blog is not meant for a gossip session, it is simply a story of peoples lives that have been deeply hurt by abuse. 

It isn’t written for sympathy, it is written so prayerfully others will read it, talk to somebody trustworthy, make changes and not suffer the way so many millions of others and myself have.

We’re going to start at the beginning.  

INFANT ABUSE

Who could ever be such an evil monster as to hurt a tiny, helpless baby?

Yet it happens every day of every year, multiple times per day, some resulting in serious injuries and sadly some in death. 

So many babies are hurt by the shaken baby syndrome, why would you want to do that?

If your baby is crying then try singing to the wee one, or check the diaper, maybe they’re hungry.                                                                               

 If you start to lose control, gently lay your baby in its crib.

Leave the room and walk into a different room for just a couple of minutes.  

Compose yourself, remember this is a precious baby that depends on you to love it.

That precious baby crying a few minutes alone while you get composure is so much better than you losing your cool.

Hurting your baby, shaking your baby to death; or hitting that precious little one, or any other harm you may do.

Please don’t ever hurt your baby or any baby.  They are helpless and should only receive love and care.

God blessed you with a beautiful baby, but injuring or killing it, is one of the most gruesome cruel things you can possibly ever do. 

This precious baby was placed in a coma because some idiot lost their cool.

How?       Why?       How can you live with this?      Your own baby?

That precious baby trusts you to take care of it, help it, love the little one,  rock it to sleep, hold him, sing, cuddle, feed him or her, absolutely adore that precious baby of yours, or that you are caring for.

Love is not bringing harm to a baby, for any reason, at any time, ever!

Do not ever be a monster and hurt or murder your baby, or anybody else’s baby. 

There is absolutely no excuse for abuse or harm to a baby ever, not ever!!!!!

CHILD ABUSE

Nobody has a right to ever hurt a child either, ever, not under any circumstances.  

Abuse comes in many forms, verbal abuse – calling your child names, insulting them, comparing them to their siblings, telling them they will never be worth anything, those words hurt, and they hurt deep.  I know, I honestly truly know.

Then there’s physical abuse – slapping a child across the face, punching them with your fist.

Or shoving them down, throwing things at them, hitting them with whatever you can get your hands on at the moment. 

People that is absolutely wrong, each and every one of these actions are wrong, and bring harm to a child.

Abuse leaves scars in many forms, some visible, many not.

But often times, those memories and emotional scars, they will carry them throughout their lives.

The Bible says spare the rod, spoil the child.   But that does not mean to beat your child, ever.

A spanking should only be done with love. 

Never should it be done in anger, that can turn into a beating with anger and rage.

A belt that is used too harshly or out of anger can cause marks, bruises, and blood under the skin for days.

Not to mention the undue pain caused to your child, worse yet a hickory off a tree.

 They leave horrible painful blood “You better not tell a soul unless you want more where that came from.”

Oh people, parents, grandparents, babysitters, family, friends…

Please, please wake up, and treat children with love, and stop this madness of childhood abuse!!

   TEEN YEARS AND DATING

Girls, I want to tell you something point blank.

I learned this from experience first hand.

If you have a friend or boyfriend, and he yells at you, or puts you down, or insults you, or worse yet abuses you in any way form or fashion…..

Girls, LISTEN…. drop him like a hot potato, never to take him back.

If a guy treats you bad just when your friends or dating,

IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE IN TIME!

You may be thinking, I have no idea what I am talking about.

But I experienced it first hand, with a boyfriend, and it only got worse. 

Thank the Lord, I finally wised up and broke up with him.

Please, girls, listen, drop them, break up and steer clear.

If he hurts you now, he will most definitely hurt you more and more and even harsher even later.

PLEASE LISTEN, AND RUN!!!!               THE GUY IS NOT WORTH IT.

YOU ARE A VALUABLE WONDERFUL GIRL, AND YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!

MARITAL ABUSE

I’m going to talk straight from experience and the heart here. 

This part is very tough to write and probably hard to read for some of you, but sometimes God uses the really bad things in one’s life to help others.  

So, do not feel sorry for me as you read this, but listen to what I am saying and please, please learn from my mistakes. 

I don’t ever want another woman or any children to go through what we did.

Let’s start at the beginning, I married my high school sweetheart. 

He was 19, I was 16.  No, I was not pregnant, before you start thinking that. 

I suppose we got married a bit too young because the honeymoon part only lasted about a month.

Please know I loved and still love this man, God rest his soul. 

I don’t think two people in love can share 15 years together and have two children, and divorce just kills that love you shared. 

Yes, it changes, but yet, it is still there.

We started arguing a lot over family, finances, all those early marriage things.

Then one day he hit me across the face.

  I called my parents and moved back home. 

What happened next? 

 He called  and said, “I don’t know what came over me, come back home honey, I’m so sorry, and I’ll never hurt you again, I promise.”    

I went back and it wasn’t a month till it happened again.       

Same promises, good for a while, abuse again.                                                

NO, I wasn’t innocent in all of it, I would lash out at him big time when he started cussing and calling me names. 

But, I did not deserve to be physically abused, no person ever deserves physical abuse.

Time passed, we had our first child a son, a year later I was pregnant again with our baby girl. 

What happened? 

He wasn’t happy, he didn’t want another child, we were fighting constantly, and in anger, he threw me across a bed into the floor and wall and walked out. 

I was about 6 months pregnant, and neither he or the family in that room cared at all about what had just happened, nobody. 

I called my parents to come and get me and went back home to my parents’ house.

This time I filed for divorce and he called begging me to drop it daily, that he had changed, he was sorry, he would never ever hurt me again, he promised.

I so wanted us to work it out, we had one child, and one on the way; so I canceled the divorce, believed him and went back again. 

This pattern went on for years, good times, bad times, leaving, apologies and promises; then promises broken over and over.

Why did I stay because of our children, and because I loved him?

I always blamed it on the fact that he was tired, or had a rough day, or didn’t feel good. 

I was always making excuses to try to justify it in my mind.

Then one day, he struck our son in the face, we were in the car headed to a funeral.

  I was livid.

I told him he better not ever lay a hand on one of our children again.

But one day in one of his fits he threatened to hit our son again; our children were small both under the age of 10 years old. 

Yes, I know what I am about to tell you will probably shock the daylights out of you.

But I got our children and we went into our bedroom, told the kids to stay on that bed and not move.

When he yelled and cussed and tried to come in, I met him with a double barrel shotgun, pointed straight in his chest.

I very firmly told him if he ever laid a hand on our children or even threatened it I would kill him point blank, period!!

No, the gun wasn’t loaded and I just prayed hard he would think it was. 

He backed off then, and never once did he threaten that again.

It got better for a couple of years, but then it started again.  

There was a tragic accident, and it changed him horribly. 

And before we knew it he announced at Christmastime at the table during supper to all of us, “I am moving out the first of the year.”

He really did, then it was just me and the two kids, and our world was torn apart. 

But we managed, with God’s grace, me working and others help we got through it.

But it was a wicked divorce, with way too many harsh words, threats, and our two children’s world was shattered.

He never called them, didn’t even send birthday cards, he acted like they didn’t even exist for about a year.

What happened, I met somebody else, and somehow he found out.

Then, and only then, he suddenly wanted to be in our children’s lives,

But that was the absolute only good thing in the future that came out of me meeting somebody else.

SECOND MARRIAGE

THIS IS GOING TO BE MY HARDEST TIME TO TELL YOU ABOUT, IT IS STILL WAY TOO PAINFUL IN SO MANY WAYS TO EVEN THINK ABOUT.

I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES VERY OFTEN BECAUSE OF THIS TIME IN LIFE!!!

BUT WHAT I AM GOING TO TELL YOU IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN!!!!

I THOUGHT THIS GUY I MET WAS REALLY NICE, EVEN PICKED US UP AND TOOK US TO CHURCH IN THE VERY BEGINNING, BUT…

THE OLD SAYING BEWARE OF THE WOLF IN SHEEPS CLOTHING DESCRIBES THIS MONSTER OF A MAN.

THE TRUE SIDE OF HIM CAME OUT VERY QUICKLY, HE WAS THE EPITOME OF ABUSIVE.

HE DESTROYED MY LIFE, AND MY CHILDRENS LIVES.

WHY?                                          HOW?

HE CAME ONE NIGHT AT THREE IN THE MORNING WHILE I WAS ONLY DATING HIM AND BROKE OUT MY BEDROOM WINDOW.

I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO FORGIVE HIM AND GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE WHEN HE APOLOGIZED AND SAID IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

TIME PASSED AND I WAS CRAZY ENOUGH TO MARRY THIS GUY.

WE WERE IN CHURCH IT ALL SEEMED GOOD, BUT WITHIN THE FIRST MONTH…. 

HE HAD HIT ME SEVERAL TIMES AGAIN.

THEN ONE NIGHT HE WAS ANGRY AND LOCKED OUR BEDROOM DOOR.

MY CHILDREN HEARD IT SHUT AND CAME AND ASKED IF I WAS OKAY.

I HAD TO LIE TO MY BABIES AND SAY I WAS FINE.

WHILE LYING THERE IN SILENCE BEING THREATENED THAT HE WOULD HARM THEM NEXT AND BEING VIOLENTLY RAPED.

ONCE AGAIN HE  THREATENED ME THAT IF I TOLD ANYBODY OR TRIED TO LEAVE HE WOULD HURT MY CHILDREN.

I WAS AFRAID OF HIM,  FOR MYSELF, BUT MOSTLY FOR MY CHILDREN!!

I WAS TERRIFIED AND  AFRAID HE REALLY WOULD HURT THEM. 

SO I SAID NOTHING TO NOBODY.

I COULDN’T ALWAYS HIDE THE MARKS, THE BRUISES, THE BUSTED LIP,  BUT I WOULD SAY I FELL, OR RAN INTO THE DOOR.

I WOULD COVER THE BRUISES AND CUTS AS BEST AS POSSIBLE AND PRETENDED ALL WAS WELL. 

BUT HE TERRORIZED US, THREATENED ME WITH HARMING THE KIDS.

ABUSED ME, VERBALLY,  EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY.

HE EVEN BROKE MY LEG IN A FIT OF ANGER,  IT WAS HORRIBLE.

AND AGAIN WAS THREATENED TELL SOMEBODY AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR KIDS.

AFTER A TIME, MY SON WENT TO LIVE WITH HIS DAD, AND MY DAUGHTER FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTER.

I THOUGHT, AT LAST, I CAN GET AWAY FROM HIM, BUT….. 

WHEN I TOLD HIM I WAS FILING FOR A DIVORCE TO GET OUT,….

HE…. HE….  HE PINNED ME DOWN AND STABBED ME IN THREE PLACES WITH THIS LITTLE TOOL HE KEPT FOR WORK.

MY LEG, MY THIGH, AND THE SIDE OF MY CHEST.

HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING.

NOT DEEP ENOUGH TO NEED AN AMBULANCE, BUT DEEP ENOUGH TO CAUSE SEVERE PAIN. 

I REMEMBER BEING MORE TERRIFIED THAN I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE.

I WAS SO AFRAID HE WAS FINALLY GOING TO KILL ME.

I HURT AND BLED SO BAD, YET I DIDN’T TELL A SOUL, NEVER REPORTED IT.

I TREATED THE STAB WOUNDS THE BEST WAY I KNEW HOW AND REMAINED SILENT, PRETENDING ALL WAS WELL.

WHY?   BECAUSE HE TOLD ME HE WOULD DO THE SAME THINGS TO MY KIDS IF I MADE HIM LEAVE AND DIVORCED HIM.

TIME PASSED AND IT GOT BETTER AGAIN, NO ABUSE FOR MONTHS.  I THOUGHT AT LAST SOME PEACE.

THE KIDS GREW UP, THEY HAD EVEN STARTED VISITING SOME, THINGS HAD GOTTEN BETTER.

MY DAUGHTER MARRIED AND I WAS EXPECTING MY FIRST GRANDCHILD. 

ALL WAS WELL FOR A BIT, EVEN BACK IN CHURCH TOGETHER.

MY DAUGHTER AND HER HUSBAND EVEN STAYED WITH US FOR A LITTLE BIT IN THE BEGINNING TIL THEY HAD A PLACE OF THEIR OWN.

THEY GOT SETTLED IN AND THAT BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL WAS BORN!!!

THEY FOUND A PLACE TO RENT AND START THEIR LIFE TOGETHER. 

BUT HE WAS JEALOUS AND ANGRY THAT I SPENT TIME WITH THEM, BOUGHT THINGS FOR THEM AND IT STARTED AGAIN.

THEN ONE EVENING I WAS FIXING SUPPER,  THE KIDS WERE COMING TO EAT WITH US.

HE GOT MAD AND PULLED A BUTCHER KNIFE AND SWUNG AT ME.

THAT WAS THE BREAKING POINT. 

I GOT THROUGH SUPPER LIKE EVERYTHING WAS JUST FINE.

WENT TO BED, SCARED AND ANGRY AND TIRED OF IT ALL.

THE NEXT MORNING I THOUGHT THE KIDS WERE GROWN,  HE CANT HURT THEM NOW.

I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE AND NEVER EVER COME BACK AGAIN, I FILED FOR A DIVORCE.

I GOT AN ORDER OF PROTECTION AND STARTED LIVING MY LIFE, THOUGHT ALL WOULD BE WELL.

YET, I WAS SO ASHAMED AND ANGRY WITH MYSELF THAT I NEVER SPOKE UP, NEVER REPORTED ANYTHING. 

THAT I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO PUT UP WITH THIS ABUSE, RAPE, STAB WOUNDS, BROKEN BONES IN SILENCE FOR YEARS.

NOBODY UNDERSTOOD WHY I WAS WITH HIM, I WOULDN’T TELL THEM FOR FEAR OF MY CHILDRENS SAFETY.

I WAS AN IDIOT TO STAY!!    I WAS AN IDIOT NOT TO KICK HIM OUT!!    I WAS AN IDIOT FOR NOT PRESSING CHARGES!!

I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN  A DIVORCE YEARS EARLIER.

YET INSTEAD I BELIEVED HIS THREATS AND LIES.

I  WAS  PUTTING ME, MY CHILDREN, AND MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS THROUGH SUCH TURMOIL.

HE WENT ON TO STALK ME FOR YEARS HERE AND THERE, FOLLOWING ME, CALLS, MESSAGES.

BUT AT LAST, I DONT FEEL THREATENED BY HIM ANYMORE.

YES, THE NIGHTMARES STILL HAPPEN, THE DOCTORS CALL IT PTSD.

SIMPLY BECAUSE OF ALL THE ABUSE AND TRAUMA AND FEAR, I ENDURED.

BUT PRAISE THE LORD, I DON’T LET HIM BOTHER ME ANYMORE!

LADIES, DONT PUT UP WITH IT, LEAVE, FLEE, GO SOMEWHERE SAFE, FILE CHARGES, FILE FOR A DIVORCE, GET AN ORDER OF PROTECTION.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE…… LEARN FROM THESE STORIES. 

PLEASE GET AWAY FROM THE ABUSIVE MEN. 

THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT, THEY WILL NOT CHANGE AND IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE AS TIME PASSES.

MY PRAYER IS THAT YOU LISTEN WITH YOUR HEAD, AND NOT YOUR HEART.

THAT YOU WILL GET OUT AND DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU, YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR LIFE.

PLEASE LISTEN.

I HAD A HEAD INJURY FROM MY FIRST HUSBAND DELIBERATELY KNOCKING ME DOWN ON PAVEMENT AND BUSTING THE BACK OF MY HEAD.

I WAS RAPED, BEATEN, STABBED THREE TIMES, AND RECEIVED BROKEN BONES FROM THE NEXT HUSBAND.

AND NOW I ALSO LIVE WITH A PERMANENT NECK INJURY AND OTHER HEALTH ISSUES THAT CANT BE HEALED.

RUN LADIES, RUN NEVER TO LOOK BACK, NEVER TO GO BACK.

PLEASE LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!!!

SENIOR ABUSE

How many of you have heard of Senior Care facilities and abuse?  If you’re like me, way too many times.

Just one time is too much!

Yet it happens often, and most of the time by the ones that are supposed to be taking care of them.

There are so many forms of physical abuse for Seniors in Nursing Homes and Care facilities.

There are physical confrontations where the caregiver, will push them, get them way too fast, or set them down way too hard, pull on their arms out of anger, berate them verbally, or neglect them completely knowing they need assistance and care; and what comes along with this mistreatment, bullying, that they better be quiet about it if they know what’s good for them. 

Many of our Seniors live in silence, fearful of what the abusive caregivers or others may do to them next, and they are way too frightened to speak up.

For the most part, families put their loved ones in a facility thinking it is the best thing for them.  But people, if you really love them and want the best for them; then you better be visiting often, phone calls are fine, yes but true eye to eye visits are going to help you know for sure about your loved ones. 

I have both worked, volunteered and visited many times in Nursing homes and Assisted Living Facilities.  Some professionals take great care of their residents, love them dearly.

But others sadly are horribly neglected or abused in various ways, personally, I think these cruel idiots need to be fired with the truth being put in their records, professional license revoked never to work in that profession again. 

Who is most apt to be abused, those that have nobody that cares enough to visit and talk with them.  To keep a known presence with your loved one. 

Believe me, you would be shocked how many of our precious Senior citizens are placed in a nursing home, without so much as a phone call, visit or anything from a family member or friend.                                                 

 It’s like, out of sight, out of mind.

To me, that is deplorable, these dear souls, loved you, raised you, took care of you, was there for you; and yet people just place them in a nursing home, and basically never ever return again.  I know of a few cases right here in my hometown.”

That’s so wrong on every level imaginable.   A  true tragedy people, a selfish, unloving cruel neglectful tragedy, shame on all those that do this!!!

And it’s not just in Nursing homes or assisted living facilities that this happens. 

It, unfortunately, happens in the Seniors own home, by caregivers and even family.  

There is abuse in some cases when the Senior is able to stay in their own home, with caregivers stopping in to help them.  I’ve known of occasions where the caregivers would only do part of their job to take care of them or be harsh with them. 

Then there are the adult children that move their loved ones in with them, or the siblings and family members take turns being with their loved ones in their own home.          

What happens some times?      

The family members get tired of their loved ones constant needs and snaps at them or worse.

 What are you thinking??????         

 Are you completely nuts?????? 

You do not hurt other people at any time, there is no reason for it, EVER!!!!   

PEOPLE, WAKE UP, GROW UP, THAT IS SO VERY WRONG.

NOBODY SHOULD EVER ABUSE ANOTHER PERSON, EVER!!!!!  

SO  STOP!      BE SMART ENOUGH TO GET YOURSELF COUNSELING, ANGER MANAGEMENT!       

STOP THE MADNESS!!!!          STOP THE CYCLES!!!!!          STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!!!

PEOPLE PLEASE IF YOU OR SOMEBODY YOU KNOW IS BEING ABUSED IN ANY WAY………..

PLEASE PLEASE, SPEAK UP,  I SO WISH THAT I HAD, TELL THE TRUTH TO SOMEBODY!!!

DONT MAKE THE MISTAKES I MADE, AND LIVE IN FEAR, WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM, FEELING AS IF YOU BROUGHT IT ON, THAT IT ALL MUST BE YOUR FAULT, OR YOU DESERVE IT!!!

NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY EVER DESERVES TO BE ABUSED IN ANY WAY FORM OR FASHION!!!

MOST OF THE TIME THE ABUSERS THREATS IF YOU TELL ARE SIMPLY SCARE TACTICS TO KEEP YOU SILENT!!!

PLEASE WHETHER IT IS AN INFANT, TODDLER, CHILD, TEENAGER, YOUNG ADULT, MIDDLE AGE ADULT, OR SENIOR; SPEAK UP, TELL SOMEBODY YOU TRUST AND GET HELP NOW!!!!

YOU ARE A VALUABLE WORTHY PERSON, YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR FROM SOMEBODY EVER!!!

PLEASE SPEAK UP, TELL SOMEBODY!!!

I SO WISH I HAD SO MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE, DONT MAKE MY MISTAKES!!!

The Dangers of Unforgiveness

Have you ever been hurt by somebody in such a way, that you didn’t think you could ever forgive them?

If we all were honest I would say we all have many times by many different people.

I know I have, I also know it took me a long time to truly forgive some of them.

But as long as you hold on to whatever hurt you have, or stay mad at the person, the only person that generally is affected in such a negative way is yourself.

I’ve had way more than my share of wrongs done to me, way more than I should have.

Please don’t think this is a woe is me story for sympathy because it’s not.

This blog is one of those please don’t follow in my footsteps blog.

And may I ask you to be open-minded as you read this?

It’s things gone wrong in my world that I hope to spare others from having happened to them.

I had a great childhood, our parents always made sure we had a roof over our head, plenty to eat, and we enjoyed a lot of fun times together. But there were times it wasn’t so wonderful!

My Mom and I never did seem to be able to be close as a mother and daughter should. It caused a lot of torment, tears and emotional scars. Some which I still deal with today once in a while.

But, she’s my Mom and I love her, and in my heart, I so long to have a truly genuine relationship as a mother and daughter should. That really hurts, but I’ve forgiven the wrongs, and try hard to forget the hurts.

Why? Because that type of relationship and static affects both of us, as well as our other family members.

Then there’s being left for another woman. You talking about knocking you to your knees, that will do it in a hurry.

Almost fifteen years of marriage, and two children and you get told at the Holidays he’s leaving. He found somebody else.

That crushed our world, please don’t think he was just a horrible man, because he wasn’t.

But he had a tragedy happen just a few months before the announcement. And Satan knew just when and where to pounce. I loved that man so, yet I hated him for what he did to our family, especially how he hurt our children!

But most of all I was ANGRY at her, for wooing him away. That anger grew and stewed and seethed inside me something awful.

No matter how hard I prayed, or attended church, or read the Bible, I couldn’t get past the rage I felt towards her.

But the strangest thing happened, he and I finally were able to talk a little bit without it turning into a war, and then I heard at work she was desperately sick. I felt sorry for her, I felt true sadness for her.

Then that Sunday night in choir practice I requested prayer for her. Yeah, I know, I was shocked when the words came out of my mouth too. But, never the less, I did.

I asked the choir members to pray for her for healing and for God to watch over her as only He could.

The most amazing thing happened when we said Amen, after all our prayers. I had peace, real honest to goodness down in your soul peace that only God can give, when you forgive somebody and set them free.

The seething anger, the hatred, the vengeful thoughts, the horrible despicable things I thought about her, all just simply went away, and was replaced with God’s mercy and grace!!

Please don’t hold unforgiveness in your heart of any kind toward anybody.

Please don’t let it destroy your joy and do that to you. There will be times you don’t think of the occasion at all.

That ugly monster will not show itself all the time, but it’s there lurking just waiting for the right moment to attack your emotions over and over again.

Unforgiveness is like cancer that just consumes more and more of you til your left just a bitter angry shell of a person.

It’s also like kudzoo that once that first little vine gets started, it spreads like wildfire inside you consuming all that is good, noble and peaceful.

Learn to forgive folks, it will bring a feeling of peace to your heart, a smile to your face and restful sleep at night.

No, it’s not always easy to do, but it’s necessary to do if you want a life of peace.

Sometimes you have to pray over and over again, “Lord help me to love this person as You do Father, help me to remember I choose to forgive this person, with Your help Lord!”

I promise you that if you sincerely ask God to help you, He will.

If that’s not enough motivation, stop and think of all the things you have done wrong to others, and all the sins and shortcomings you have done against God.

You want forgiveness from them and especially the Lord, don’t you?

Well, then don’t you think you should offer it to others as well?

You will be so thankful that you did!

 

Til next time!

You Are Never Alone

Have you ever spent time alone?  I mean yes we all love a few moments alone from time to time, some of us more than others.

But this topic is for the people that are alone, not by any decision of their own. For some, it’s because of a separation, or travels, or the services. For some, it’s because of divorce or worse yet the loss of a dear loved one. I’ve never experienced the loneliness of losing a close loved one. So I’m not even going to pretend I know how those of you reading this feel. I simply don’t. I’m sure I will at some point in my life, but I can’t start to understand that now. Just know that my heart hurts for each of you dearly.

For this blog, I’m going to talk from the experience of divorce. It’s been a long time, many years ago actually, since I was alone. But I have never forgotten how it felt, how it hurt so badly at times. Yes, I was fortunate enough to have my children with me, which was a true blessing. We all three needed each other, we clung together through those hard times. Of course, they had their school friends, I had my coworkers, we had our family, neighbors, longtime friends.

But most importantly we had our Church family and God. Both my children came to know the Lord personally during those times. Which brings me to the point of this story. You see, daytime activities and the company of others gets you through those lonely hard days. True friends that love you, and are there for you with their time, listening ears, hugs, and shoulders to cry on.

But in the stillness of the night, the house is ever so quiet. The thoughts are just flying through your head and those emotions are working overtime. Those were the times I hated the most. A lot of times those nights seemed endless, and ever so hard to get through.

In your head, you know your not really alone. You have your children, family, friends, prayer warriors but in your heart during those emotional times, you feel like you are all alone, totally completely alone. I can remember many times, just balling my eyes out to the point that it seemed there weren’t any tears left.

But then one night, one really really low bad point I had had enough. Oh, the thoughts that raced through my mind that night. I had reached my lowest point. But then it happened….. GOD intervened through the call of a friend. She told me she had been awakened from a dream, and just knew she had to call me immediately.

So at 03:00 a.m. in the morning, my phone rang, just in the nick of time, with not a moment to spare. She was on that line, telling me she didn’t know what is wrong at that moment but she knew God awakened her and she had to call me just then. Today I am so very grateful beyond words for that phone call from my dear friend that was awakened with such an urgency to call me. She spent the next four hours on the phone with me.

God used my dear friend to let me know how very much He loves me. I am so very grateful she was a woman that listened to and obeyed the Lord, so very grateful! He helped me to realize through the action and obedience of my friend, that He cared deeply for me and my children; and we were never really alone.

That night was my turning point, yes I was in Church had been all my life. I knew God, gave my heart to Him years before then. But that night, that call, that friend that was awakened by the Lord, that put those thoughts into action and called, helped me to know God on a much deeper level. I knew then I would never ever really be alone.

There are so many verses in the Bible that talks of the Lord being with us. My absolute favorite is…………..

Hebrews 13:5

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have; for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

I hope you know the Lord, not just having heard of Him, or knowing Him in your head. I pray you know Him deep in your heart. That you talk with him daily, that He is your closest friend. Because when Jesus is walking with you, there is one thing for certain. You are never ever alone, never!

I’m so very glad and thankful that God loves each of us so much. Thank you, Father, for always watching over us, and being with us when we simply talk and walk with you. Help us always to listen for Your voice and obey, for we never know what soul we might be helping by listening to Your voice and being used by You. I so very much love you, Father!

Thank you, Lord!!!!!!

Family

I want to talk about FAMILY!!!

I’ve been thinking on this topic since I first started blogging, and well truthfully I’ve just left this page setting empty.

I started this post the first week in August, titled it, Family, wrote a sentence and just left it.

Why do you ask?

Because, I have been giving this topic a lot, and I mean a lot, of thought!!

Everything that I write has to come straight from my heart, that’s important to me!!

Otherwise…. for me at least, then what is the point of blogging?

 

Family ….. one single word ….. yet it can mean a thousand different things …. depending upon who you ask!!!

Have you ever thought about it …………. really thought about it?

What is Family??????

The Traditional Family!

Growing up, family to me was the traditional type; that’s simply what family was.

I don’t think I can name one friend of mine as a child; that was not raised by both parents. Yes, there were some sadly, that only had one parent due to death!

But not one that I can remember was because of divorce; it was just unheard of when I grew up.

The family was simply the traditional type…….. Dad, Mom, and Kids!!!!

The family was close-knit!!!! You would see each other often, the folks visiting and all the kids outside having a good old time!!!

The family was there to share joys and sorrows, help one another in time of need, attend Church together, have meals together. Simply put family was there for one another!!!

And of course, everybody going to Grandmas’ house for Christmas, a time of food, gifts, laughter, and wonderful memories!

That’s what family was for me as a child!!!

Fast forward just a few years, the family started changing!!

The times of “The Waltons” that my generation grew up watching; slowly started to fade away.

I know many of you reading this, don’t have a clue what I’m talking about… but Google it sometime, watch an episode; it was all about family and the way it should be, was meant to be!!!

But sadly, my generation started changing all that!

We grew up, got married, got busy with our jobs, kids, activities and everything else we could think of in our fast-paced world.

And what happened?

We didn’t hold each other, traditions and marriage sacred as our parents and grandparents did.

And divorce started becoming more common, and the traditional family started to suffer.

I know, I’ve been there…. which brings me to the next era of the family…

The Single Mom Family!

My kids were young teens when divorce hit our little family and tore it apart.

Everybody hurts, no doubt about it.

But I think the children really get hurt the most!!

It’s so very sad what we as adults do to our kids because we don’t hold marriage and family sacred, as we should.

I can still remember how very bad the divorce tore my children’s lives upside down.

Oh my…… simply oh my!!!!!

Being a single Mom is tough, really tough!!!

You are suddenly forced to take care of everything; the house, the bills, a lot of times a job for the first time, everything on your own.

Plus, you’re also trying to help your children through a very hard, hurtful time, and deal with your own hurts and frustrations.

My hat is off to all single Moms everywhere…. it takes a very loving, determined woman to be a successful single parent, it really does!!!

The Single Dad Family!

And in today’s world…. the word family has become a lot of single-parent Dads raising their children.

I never imagined as a child, divorce would be such a big part of our society.

And I never even considered there would be divorced Dad’s as single parents.

But goodness, now they are…. and a bunch of them.

My hat is really off to them! I think we as women are just loving and nurturing by nature, well, those of us that are good Moms anyway.

But men, bless their hearts…. God just did not make a man to be a Mom. They just aren’t wired that way.

I think they have a really hard time trying to fill a Mother’s place in a single dad family.

They have it difficult too, full-time job, the school activities, homework, laundry, groceries, housekeeping, things most men just are not familiar with doing.

Add in those tough situations with their daughters reaching puberty, that boys don’t have and I would imagine Dad wanders what do I say now?

I have the utmost respect for single Dads raising their children, utmost respect!!!

The Blended Family!

Divorce not only brings Single Moms and Dads raising their children. But it also brings along the blended family.

Growing up we watched “The Brady Bunch”, a Dad with three boys and a Mom with three girls, a blended family indeed

To me back then, it just seemed like a show from Hollywood; but now it’s a reality everywhere!

I have never experienced the blended family of children from both parents.

I would imagine it would be very trying at times; and yet, at other times very rewarding.

I can imagine, the parents would probably hear, “Your not my Mom, or your not my Dad.”

Maybe they would hear, “My Mom doesn’t make pancakes like that.” or “My Dad can fix anything.”

I think it’s probably really hard having a blended family, the kids fussing because they are sharing a bedroom, learning new rules, new traditions.

I really respect these families a lot; that would require a lot of compromising…. my hat is off to all!

Family, it’s ever-changing, isn’t it?

The Mixed Racial Family!

Do I think it is wrong?

No, I do not, not in any way form or fashion.

Some people in our society look down on it, but obviously, they have not really read their Bible about Moses marrying an Ethiopian woman.

You need to read it if you disagree….

You will find it in the Old Testament in Numbers Chapter 12.

It may change your mind about how you feel.

Everybody is equal, no matter background, skin color, or where you were born.

We all should be treated exactly equal. Yet some people still so frown on such families.

Shame on you!

They are family just like you are. Dad, Mom, and Children.

They love and care for each other in their family, just like you do your own family.

So be kind and accepting.

Not one of us has a right to say a word about other people that is unkind, not one of us.

School children have a hard enough time in school today, without our own kids hearing us make cruel remarks and then repeating them to others.

I applaud these families…..

Another new era……. I’m not sure how to put this one.

The Same Sex Family!

Do I agree with it?? No, absolutely not… I do not!

But at the same time, I have no right to judge; that is simply up to God.

So, I simply accept it as something that has taken place in our society today; knowing that I am to treat each person with kindness and respect.

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Have you ever stopped to think how the children may feel?

I’m sure they get plenty of love and acceptance in their home.

But quite simply, people and kids can be cruel.

Anything out of the normal brings taunting and ridicule.

Should we be cruel? No, absolutely not.

We should always be kind to everybody, absolutely everybody!

So in ways, I have compassion for the families, I do not agree with same-sex families, but I do imagine it’s difficult for them in some ways as well.

We have all types of families in our world. Even those we wouldn’t normally think of like a family.

The Orphanage Family!

For instance….. have you ever thought about all the children in orphanages?

I have……. often.

They have no real home and parents.

Don’t you imagine they think of each other as a family?

Playing together, learning together, sharing things together…

They simply share everything, every day…. just like a family does.

And don’t you imagine that as some children are adopted and leave the orphanage, don’t you imagine the remaining children miss them, think of them as their brothers and sisters, and are hurt.

Think about all the children and their orphanage family as well!

The Senior Center Family!

They are like family...

Many of them never have one person that visits, ever.

That’s a fact!!!

I have visited different nursing homes and assisted living centers to bring a smile, a listening ear, cards at Christmas.

The majority of them are so lonely, and need visitors, people that care enough to sit a spell with them, just listen.

But they rely on each other, befriend each other, eat together, do activities together.

For many that is all the family, they know in their last days!

By the way, y’all should consider visiting your local nursing home sometime, so many people there need visitors…. consider it, okay…

Isn’t that another form of the family?

Simply put, yes it sure is!

The Homeless Family!

Have you ever really thought about the homeless?

They are people too; yes I know society tends to look down on them; but each and every person in this world matter, are important.

Yes, I’m sure some choose to live that way, well because they have gotten used to it; it is their comfort zone now.

But I truly believe most people never planned to be homeless, don’t want to be on the streets, without a home, a real bed, a kitchen to cook in, a family to love them.

But unfortunately it is a big part of our society today, and I find it heartbreaking.

And I also think of them as a group of people that make up a family.

After all, as we have discussed through each section, a family is simply a group of people that share their lives together.

And that is what the homeless do as well.

They often eat together, share time with one another, look out for each other; and most importantly they understand each other.

That makes a family…

None of us ever probably get close enough to care for them, listen to their stories, understand what happened to cause them to be there.

But they each understand the next persons’ plight, they are there, they know.

So see, there is a group of people that make up the homeless family; as sad as that may be.

The Work Family!

This may sound silly to some, but I think employees can be a family of sort.

Good grief you spend forty plus hours a week together, some even more than that.

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You share meetings, tasks, and lunchtimes together.

You help one another with work tasks, talk, share, listen… you come to care about one another.

Maybe get together after work or on weekends to have fun activities together.

And if you have worked for a long period of time at one place, you have probably befriended many to know all about their own families at home, their children by name.

All of that, to me, makes a sort of family in the workplace.

The Church Family!

This is one family nobody will deny if they attend Church.

Being a part of a Church family is so awesome!

I pray you are part of a Church somewhere; if not consider it.

I have had the pleasure of being part of three Church families in my lifetime and was so very blessed in each.

There are no words to describe the closeness you share with your Church family.

To this day, I can walk into either three Churches and know, that I know, that I am welcome and loved.

Your Church family are not only your friends, and in some cases your own family, but they are also your closest family of all.

Together, you praise God, study the Bible, share one another’s joys and sorrows, pray together, often eat together, share an important part of your life together.

Your welcome with open arms, firm handshakes and hugs, and you’re loved.. simply as you are, just for you.

There’s nothing like having a Church family!!

The Military Family! 

I can not start to express my gratefulness and respect that I have for each and every man and woman that has served and is serving in the military, fighting to keep our country free.

Where would this nation be without their sacrifices, for some the ultimate sacrifice?

I think it must take a very special person to be willing to fight for our country, our freedom.

I truly respect each and every person in our military. Have you stopped to think about the families they leave behind when they go to fight for our country?

I feel for all of them, the wives, husbands, children, parents, grandparents, siblings they leave here holding down the home front while they fight for our freedom.

We need to keep them all in our prayers, help in any way we can!

I can’t start to imagine the life of a military family.

But at the same time…. when I think of the military family.

I also think of the group of them together in a foreign country together.

To me, they are a military family.

They train, sleep and eat together.

They share their letters from home, family stories, show off pictures of their loved ones.

They share so very much!

I would imagine they share the good times with laughter, and are there for one another with the sorrowful times as well.

They befriend each other, bond; a bond that most of us will probably never understand.

They not only fight our enemies, but many give their lives to save others in their group.

That is a family, an honest to goodness military family.

A type of family that deserves ALL of our honor, appreciation, and respect!

The family is a variety of things to everybody, from all walks of life.

I think that is what makes it so wonderful!

We don’t have to be blood, to be a family.

A family is simply a group of people that share their time and life together, lean on each other, depend on and help one another.

Yes, that is also the meaning of a good friend, but to me, it’s also the meaning of Family!

So where ever you are, whatever you do….. I hope and pray you are sharing your life with family.

Whether it’s a family of two, or twenty, maybe even a hundred.

Maybe even a single person with his or her pet that they share their life.

 

We all hopefully have some sort of family!

A family by blood, marriage, or adoption.

Maybe a family in an orphanage, or Senior living.

Family with the homeless (God bless their souls).

The work family, the blessings of a Church Family.

Military families that protect our country

(By the way…..Thank you All for Your Gift of Service),

Whatever your definition of family is to you…..

I pray you simply cherish it!!!!!!

 

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