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Tag: hurt

The Dangers of Unforgiveness

Have you ever been hurt by somebody in such a way, that you didn’t think you could ever forgive them?

If we all were honest I would say we all have many times by many different people.

I know I have, I also know it took me a long time to truly forgive some of them.

But as long as you hold on to whatever hurt you have, or stay mad at the person, the only person that generally is affected in such a negative way is yourself.

I’ve had way more than my share of wrongs done to me, way more than I should have.

Please don’t think this is a woe is me story for sympathy because it’s not.

This blog is one of those please don’t follow in my footsteps blog.

And may I ask you to be open-minded as you read this?

It’s things gone wrong in my world that I hope to spare others from having happened to them.

I had a great childhood, our parents always made sure we had a roof over our head, plenty to eat, and we enjoyed a lot of fun times together. But there were times it wasn’t so wonderful!

My Mom and I never did seem to be able to be close as a mother and daughter should. It caused a lot of torment, tears and emotional scars. Some which I still deal with today once in a while.

But, she’s my Mom and I love her, and in my heart, I so long to have a truly genuine relationship as a mother and daughter should. That really hurts, but I’ve forgiven the wrongs, and try hard to forget the hurts.

Why? Because that type of relationship and static affects both of us, as well as our other family members.

Then there’s being left for another woman. You talking about knocking you to your knees, that will do it in a hurry.

Almost fifteen years of marriage, and two children and you get told at the Holidays he’s leaving. He found somebody else.

That crushed our world, please don’t think he was just a horrible man, because he wasn’t.

But he had a tragedy happen just a few months before the announcement. And Satan knew just when and where to pounce. I loved that man so, yet I hated him for what he did to our family, especially how he hurt our children!

But most of all I was ANGRY at her, for wooing him away. That anger grew and stewed and seethed inside me something awful.

No matter how hard I prayed, or attended church, or read the Bible, I couldn’t get past the rage I felt towards her.

But the strangest thing happened, he and I finally were able to talk a little bit without it turning into a war, and then I heard at work she was desperately sick. I felt sorry for her, I felt true sadness for her.

Then that Sunday night in choir practice I requested prayer for her. Yeah, I know, I was shocked when the words came out of my mouth too. But, never the less, I did.

I asked the choir members to pray for her for healing and for God to watch over her as only He could.

The most amazing thing happened when we said Amen, after all our prayers. I had peace, real honest to goodness down in your soul peace that only God can give, when you forgive somebody and set them free.

The seething anger, the hatred, the vengeful thoughts, the horrible despicable things I thought about her, all just simply went away, and was replaced with God’s mercy and grace!!

Please don’t hold unforgiveness in your heart of any kind toward anybody.

Please don’t let it destroy your joy and do that to you. There will be times you don’t think of the occasion at all.

That ugly monster will not show itself all the time, but it’s there lurking just waiting for the right moment to attack your emotions over and over again.

Unforgiveness is like cancer that just consumes more and more of you til your left just a bitter angry shell of a person.

It’s also like kudzoo that once that first little vine gets started, it spreads like wildfire inside you consuming all that is good, noble and peaceful.

Learn to forgive folks, it will bring a feeling of peace to your heart, a smile to your face and restful sleep at night.

No, it’s not always easy to do, but it’s necessary to do if you want a life of peace.

Sometimes you have to pray over and over again, “Lord help me to love this person as You do Father, help me to remember I choose to forgive this person, with Your help Lord!”

I promise you that if you sincerely ask God to help you, He will.

If that’s not enough motivation, stop and think of all the things you have done wrong to others, and all the sins and shortcomings you have done against God.

You want forgiveness from them and especially the Lord, don’t you?

Well, then don’t you think you should offer it to others as well?

You will be so thankful that you did!


Til next time!


Pain Pill Dangers

Pain, doctors, pills, side effects, often addiction, worse yet overdose, death.

We live in such a time of pain pill addictions.

It’s so very sad, that something that was made to help a person with true aches and pains, has turned into a major epidemic where people are pill addicts and overdose victims.

From a personal standpoint, I can tell you they are very dangerous.

In some cases, when taken for a very short period of time, per doctors orders; they can leave you with side effects, sometimes serious.

Side effects that you may be forced to live with from now on.

I tell you that from actual personal experience, I was prescribed Dilaudid three times a day, for seven days after jaw surgery.

I could not function, all I did was sleep except when hubby woke me up for a boost to drink and more medicine.

When I finally finished it, and I finally could stay awake, slowly got my brain out of a weeklong fog, got the limbs working again, I thought to myself ok, ” I survived the surgery and the hardest part of recovery.”

But would you like to know a secret?

My problems were just beginning!

My entire body woke up, except for my stomach and digestive system.

The Dilaudid had paralyzed my digestive system.

It took a few years, several doctors, test after test, trial medications, and finally several trips to the Mayo Clinic in Florida, and even more tests, bunches of them, till I finally got a definitive answer and diagnosis.

What was the diagnosis? 

Severe gastroparesis due to the Dilaudid prescription that was prescribed in 2012, some four years earlier. 

Prognosis, basically my body could not process food as my digestive system should.  Plan of care,  boost and ensure and such drinks, at least six per day, lots of water, Benefiber and peppermint herbal tea, no food.

For how long you wonder?  The rest of my life; all because of a week of strong pain pills.

I have finally started getting used to it, I stick to my medical plan of care, eat some real food on Saturdays only, and then suffer in ways you can’t imagine til Wednesday when I medically treat it.

Week in, week out, this month, next month, next year, for the rest of my life.

But it’s hard, everywhere you look there is food.   Restaurants, billboards, magazines, television, movies, family get-togethers, Holidays, cookouts, Church socials, even grocery shopping. 

All of it is a never-ending reminder of the agony of pain pills effects on my system. 

I try so hard to act like it doesn’t bother me when everybody else is eating, and I’m drinking a protein drink. 

But it does, oh how it does.

I am 53 years old, I was in my mid 40’s when all this started, ensure and boost is for seriously sick Seniors, not a woman in her fifties.

Truthfully the whole situation just stinks, all because of pain pills.

People, please listen to me. 

Pain pills are ever so dangerous, the side effects, the fact that your body gets immune to them, and the pain gets worse, so you go back for higher doses again and again.

I don’t want anybody to ever go through what I do, and it can be avoided by just staying away from pain pills.

Most all of us have aches and pains, but use a muscle rub, ice, heat, massage, icy hot, aspercreme, bio freeze, the lists are endless, anything but pain pills.

Folks, please don’t become another statistic, don’t get so hooked on them that you become an opioid addict.

You’re worth more than that!  Your loved ones, family and friends care and love you dearly!

I’ve known so many people that have gotten seriously ill and some actually died from opioids. 

Some I think were by accident, simply took too many, but some were planned and deliberate. 

Don’t do that to your family and friends, not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

I’ve seen loved ones hooked on pills, stressing because they need their next ‘fix”.   Going to great lengths and stupid stunts to get it.

You can not start to imagine how much your addiction hurts your family and friends who love you! 

LISTEN TO ME, if you’re sitting there thinking, “Oh you’re wrong, my family and or my friends do it with me, it’s cool, it’s what everybody does.” 

Listen and please listen good.  They are NOT your friends. 

True friends want the best for you, and pain pills are anything but the best for you.

They destroy your body, you can become addicted, and keep wanting more and more, till one day you possibly overdose, and maybe, just maybe, somebody will find you in time, to get you medical help, maybe. 

To visit you in a hospital is one thing, but to have to visit you in a cemetery is the worst thing ever.

You’re precious, you’re wanted and you’re loved by so many! 

Don’t destroy your life and the life of your friends and loved ones because of stupid pain pills!

Don’t cause your loved ones to have to visit you in the cemetery with so many unanswered questions, the biggest one. 


“Why did you do this?”

“Why didn’t you leave the pills alone?” 

“Why didn’t you care enough to stop what you were doing to yourself?”

“Why didn’t you come to us for help?”

“Why didn’t you love us enough to stop?”

“What do I tell our children when they ask why you had to die?”

“Why were you so selfish, that you didn’t care enough to leave the stupid pills alone?”

“Why did you leave me?”

“I love you, I need you, I so want you back here with me.”


Sticks and Stones


Do ya’ll remember the quote about sticks and stones?

It was usually said when school kids started calling each other names.

The old quote says:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!”

Truthfully I have no idea who came up with such a quote.

But, well, to be honest, he was an idiot, an absolute complete idiot.

Yes, the sticks and stones can hurt or maybe even break a bone here and there.

In time the bruises heal, the bones mend.

That part is true.

But where on earth did they decide words will never hurt me???????


That is a big old lie if ever there was one.

Words have the power to lift you up,

Help you feel great about yourself,

Encourage you, make you feel special,

Know that somebody cares about you,

Values you,

Loves you.

Yet on the other hand, mean words, cruel words and ugly name calling does hurt,

Sometimes they hurt deeply; sometimes cutting clear to the bone.

Just ask anybody in school that has been called names because of their looks, or they wear glasses or have braces, or maybe they aren’t as smart as others, or not as athletic as some.

Kids can be really cruel pint-size human beings!!!!

Growing up back in the day, I heard coaches and teachers undermine students, literally crushing their spirits.

When they should have been lifting them up with patience and encouragement.

Shame on each and every adult in any profession, but especially working with children and teens.


Then there are parents, they have bad days at work, come home and yell at each other, yell at the kids, even yells at the dog.

What about sibling rivalry, we may love our brothers and sisters, but sometimes, things get heated and words fly.

Maybe your boss or coworker that chooses to gripe and fuss and berate you simply because you made a mistake.

No matter what walk of life you are from, what country, what family, what school, what profession.

Words are always used, in many different languages, but no matter what language you speak,

Remember words have the ability to sometimes lift you up, yet other times tear you down.

We all should be careful and keep our tongue in check,

Because folks….. Words Really Do Hurt!!!

Sometimes much longer than a stick or stone.

Next time your upset or angry.

Take a slow deep relaxing breath ever so slowly.

Then silently ask yourself, “Would I want to be called names and yelled at?”

I can promise you, that if you’re honest with yourself, the answer would be NO!




And once they leave your mouth, you can’t take them back,

and “I’m sorry” doesn’t fix it.

Imagine if you will, a tree…

if you drive a nail into that tree, symbolizing the ugly words you hurl at others.

Then feel bad about putting that nail there and remove it, symbolizing the I’m sorry.

What is left when you look at that tree?

A hole in its bark, a scar……

the same thing that people leave with others when they lash out, or bully, or yell, or put down or name call.

The lesson of this blog…..









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