Just Simple Times

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Category: Tough Subjects

Physical Abuse

 

WARNING:  PICTURES AND  STORIES ARE HEART-WRENCHING, PLEASE BE PREPARED!!!

 

This is a tough topic for me because it hits home, both on a personal level as a victim and with others that I know that have been abused also. 

Please be patient as you read this and do not judge, it is not anybody’s place to judge but God’s.

This blog is not meant for a gossip session, it is simply a story of peoples lives that have been deeply hurt by abuse. 

It isn’t written for sympathy, it is written so prayerfully others will read it, talk to somebody trustworthy, make changes and not suffer the way so many millions of others and myself have.

We’re going to start at the beginning.  

INFANT ABUSE

 

Who could ever be such an evil monster as to hurt a tiny, helpless baby?

Yet it happens every day of every year, multiple times per day, some resulting in serious injuries and sadly some in death. 

So many babies are hurt by the shaken baby syndrome, why would you want to do that?

If your baby is crying then try singing to the wee one, or check the diaper, maybe they’re hungry.                                                                                 

 If you start to lose control, gently lay your baby in its crib.

Leave the room and walk into a different room for just a couple of minutes.  

Compose yourself, remember this is a precious baby that depends on you to love it.

That precious baby crying a few minutes alone while you get composure is so much better than you losing your cool.

Hurting your baby, shaking your baby to death; or hitting that precious little one, or any other harm you may do.

Please don’t ever hurt your baby or any baby.  They are helpless and should only receive love and care.

God blessed you with a beautiful baby, but injuring or killing it, is one of the most gruesome cruel things you can possibly ever do. 

 

This precious baby was placed in a coma because some idiot lost their cool.

How?       Why?       How can you live with this?      Your own baby?

That precious baby trusts you to take care of it, help it, love the little one,  rock it to sleep, hold him, sing, cuddle, feed him or her, absolutely adore that precious baby of yours, or that you are caring for.

Love is not bringing harm to a baby, for any reason, at any time, ever!

Do not ever be a monster and hurt or murder your baby, or anybody else’s baby. 

There is absolutely no excuse for abuse or harm to a baby ever, not ever!!!!!

 

CHILD ABUSE

 

Nobody has a right to ever hurt a child either, ever, not under any circumstances.  

 

 

Abuse comes in many forms, verbal abuse – calling your child names, insulting them, comparing them to their siblings, telling them they will never be worth anything, those words hurt, and they hurt deep.  I know, I honestly truly know.

 

Then there’s physical abuse – slapping a child across the face, punching them with your fist.

Or shoving them down, throwing things at them, hitting them with whatever you can get your hands on at the moment. 

People that is absolutely wrong, each and every one of these actions are wrong, and bring harm to a child.

Abuse leaves scars in many forms, some visible, many not.

But often times, those memories and emotional scars, they will carry them throughout their lives.

 

 

The Bible says spare the rod, spoil the child.   But that does not mean to beat your child, ever.

A spanking should only be done with love. 

Never should it be done in anger, that can turn into a beating with anger and rage.

A belt that is used too harshly or out of anger can cause marks, bruises, and blood under the skin for days.

Not to mention the undue pain caused to your child, worse yet a hickory off a tree.

 They leave horrible painful blood “You better not tell a soul unless you want more where that came from.”

 

Oh people, parents, grandparents, babysitters, family, friends…

Please, please wake up, and treat children with love, and stop this madness of childhood abuse!!

 

   TEEN YEARS AND DATING

 

 

Girls, I want to tell you something point blank.

I learned this from experience first hand.

If you have a friend or boyfriend, and he yells at you, or puts you down, or insults you, or worse yet abuses you in any way form or fashion…..

Girls, LISTEN…. drop him like a hot potato, never to take him back.

If a guy treats you bad just when your friends or dating,

IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE IN TIME!

You may be thinking, I have no idea what I am talking about.

But I experienced it first hand, with a boyfriend, and it only got worse. 

Thank the Lord, I finally wised up and broke up with him.

Please, girls, listen, drop them, break up and steer clear.

If he hurts you now, he will most definitely hurt you more and more and even harsher even later.

PLEASE LISTEN, AND RUN!!!!               THE GUY IS NOT WORTH IT.

YOU ARE A VALUABLE WONDERFUL GIRL, AND YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!

 

MARITAL ABUSE

 

I’m going to talk straight from experience and the heart here. 

This part is very tough to write and probably hard to read for some of you, but sometimes God uses the really bad things in one’s life to help others.  

So, do not feel sorry for me as you read this, but listen to what I am saying and please, please learn from my mistakes. 

I don’t ever want another woman or any children to go through what we did.

Let’s start at the beginning, I married my high school sweetheart. 

He was 19, I was 16.  No, I was not pregnant, before you start thinking that. 

I suppose we got married a bit too young because the honeymoon part only lasted about a month.

Please know I loved and still love this man, God rest his soul. 

I don’t think two people in love can share 15 years together and have two children, and divorce just kills that love you shared. 

Yes, it changes, but yet, it is still there.

We started arguing a lot over family, finances, all those early marriage things.

Then one day he hit me across the face.

  I called my parents and moved back home. 

What happened next? 

 He called  and said, “I don’t know what came over me, come back home honey, I’m so sorry, and I’ll never hurt you again, I promise.”    

I went back and it wasn’t a month till it happened again.       

Same promises, good for a while, abuse again.                                                

NO, I wasn’t innocent in all of it, I would lash out at him big time when he started cussing and calling me names. 

But, I did not deserve to be physically abused, no person ever deserves physical abuse.

Time passed, we had our first child a son, a year later I was pregnant again with our baby girl. 

What happened? 

He wasn’t happy, he didn’t want another child, we were fighting constantly, and in anger, he threw me across a bed into the floor and wall and walked out. 

I was about 6 months pregnant, and neither he or the family in that room cared at all about what had just happened, nobody. 

I called my parents to come and get me and went back home to my parents’ house.

This time I filed for divorce and he called begging me to drop it daily, that he had changed, he was sorry, he would never ever hurt me again, he promised.

I so wanted us to work it out, we had one child, and one on the way; so I canceled the divorce, believed him and went back again. 

This pattern went on for years, good times, bad times, leaving, apologies and promises; then promises broken over and over.

Why did I stay because of our children, and because I loved him?

I always blamed it on the fact that he was tired, or had a rough day, or didn’t feel good. 

I was always making excuses to try to justify it in my mind.

Then one day, he struck our son in the face, we were in the car headed to a funeral.

  I was livid.

I told him he better not ever lay a hand on one of our children again.

But one day in one of his fits he threatened to hit our son again; our children were small both under the age of 10 years old. 

Yes, I know what I am about to tell you will probably shock the daylights out of you.

But I got our children and we went into our bedroom, told the kids to stay on that bed and not move.

When he yelled and cussed and tried to come in, I met him with a double barrel shotgun, pointed straight in his chest.

I very firmly told him if he ever laid a hand on our children or even threatened it I would kill him point blank, period!!

No, the gun wasn’t loaded and I just prayed hard he would think it was. 

He backed off then, and never once did he threaten that again.

It got better for a couple of years, but then it started again.  

There was a tragic accident, and it changed him horribly. 

And before we knew it he announced at Christmastime at the table during supper to all of us, “I am moving out the first of the year.”

He really did, then it was just me and the two kids, and our world was torn apart. 

But we managed, with God’s grace, me working and others help we got through it.

But it was a wicked divorce, with way too many harsh words, threats, and our two children’s world was shattered.

He never called them, didn’t even send birthday cards, he acted like they didn’t even exist for about a year.

What happened, I met somebody else, and somehow he found out.

Then, and only then, he suddenly wanted to be in our children’s lives,

But that was the absolute only good thing in the future that came out of me meeting somebody else.

 

SECOND MARRIAGE

 

THIS IS GOING TO BE MY HARDEST TIME TO TELL YOU ABOUT, IT IS STILL WAY TOO PAINFUL IN SO MANY WAYS TO EVEN THINK ABOUT.

I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES VERY OFTEN BECAUSE OF THIS TIME IN LIFE!!!

BUT WHAT I AM GOING TO TELL YOU IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN!!!!

I THOUGHT THIS GUY I MET WAS REALLY NICE, EVEN PICKED US UP AND TOOK US TO CHURCH IN THE VERY BEGINNING, BUT…

THE OLD SAYING BEWARE OF THE WOLF IN SHEEPS CLOTHING DESCRIBES THIS MONSTER OF A MAN.

THE TRUE SIDE OF HIM CAME OUT VERY QUICKLY, HE WAS THE EPITOME OF ABUSIVE.

HE DESTROYED MY LIFE, AND MY CHILDRENS LIVES.

WHY?                                          HOW?

HE CAME ONE NIGHT AT THREE IN THE MORNING WHILE I WAS ONLY DATING HIM AND BROKE OUT MY BEDROOM WINDOW.

I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO FORGIVE HIM AND GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE WHEN HE APOLOGIZED AND SAID IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

TIME PASSED AND I WAS CRAZY ENOUGH TO MARRY THIS GUY.

WE WERE IN CHURCH IT ALL SEEMED GOOD, BUT WITHIN THE FIRST MONTH…. 

HE HAD HIT ME SEVERAL TIMES AGAIN.

THEN ONE NIGHT HE WAS ANGRY AND LOCKED OUR BEDROOM DOOR.

MY CHILDREN HEARD IT SHUT AND CAME AND ASKED IF I WAS OKAY.

I HAD TO LIE TO MY BABIES AND SAY I WAS FINE.

WHILE LYING THERE IN SILENCE BEING THREATENED THAT HE WOULD HARM THEM NEXT AND BEING VIOLENTLY RAPED.

ONCE AGAIN HE  THREATENED ME THAT IF I TOLD ANYBODY OR TRIED TO LEAVE HE WOULD HURT MY CHILDREN.

I WAS AFRAID OF HIM,  FOR MYSELF, BUT MOSTLY FOR MY CHILDREN!!

I WAS TERRIFIED AND  AFRAID HE REALLY WOULD HURT THEM. 

SO I SAID NOTHING TO NOBODY.

I COULDN’T ALWAYS HIDE THE MARKS, THE BRUISES, THE BUSTED LIP,  BUT I WOULD SAY I FELL, OR RAN INTO THE DOOR.

I WOULD COVER THE BRUISES AND CUTS AS BEST AS POSSIBLE AND PRETENDED ALL WAS WELL. 

BUT HE TERRORIZED US, THREATENED ME WITH HARMING THE KIDS.

ABUSED ME, VERBALLY,  EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY.

HE EVEN BROKE MY LEG IN A FIT OF ANGER,  IT WAS HORRIBLE.

AND AGAIN WAS THREATENED TELL SOMEBODY AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR KIDS.

 

AFTER A TIME, MY SON WENT TO LIVE WITH HIS DAD, AND MY DAUGHTER FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTER.

I THOUGHT, AT LAST, I CAN GET AWAY FROM HIM, BUT….. 

WHEN I TOLD HIM I WAS FILING FOR A DIVORCE TO GET OUT,….

HE…. HE….  HE PINNED ME DOWN AND STABBED ME IN THREE PLACES WITH THIS LITTLE TOOL HE KEPT FOR WORK.

MY LEG, MY THIGH, AND THE SIDE OF MY CHEST.

HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING.

NOT DEEP ENOUGH TO NEED AN AMBULANCE, BUT DEEP ENOUGH TO CAUSE SEVERE PAIN. 

I REMEMBER BEING MORE TERRIFIED THAN I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE.

I WAS SO AFRAID HE WAS FINALLY GOING TO KILL ME.

I HURT AND BLED SO BAD, YET I DIDN’T TELL A SOUL, NEVER REPORTED IT.

I TREATED THE STAB WOUNDS THE BEST WAY I KNEW HOW AND REMAINED SILENT, PRETENDING ALL WAS WELL. 

WHY?   BECAUSE HE TOLD ME HE WOULD DO THE SAME THINGS TO MY KIDS IF I MADE HIM LEAVE AND DIVORCED HIM.

TIME PASSED AND IT GOT BETTER AGAIN, NO ABUSE FOR MONTHS.  I THOUGHT AT LAST SOME PEACE.

 

THE KIDS GREW UP, THEY HAD EVEN STARTED VISITING SOME, THINGS HAD GOTTEN BETTER.

MY DAUGHTER MARRIED AND I WAS EXPECTING MY FIRST GRANDCHILD. 

ALL WAS WELL FOR A BIT, EVEN BACK IN CHURCH TOGETHER.

MY DAUGHTER AND HER HUSBAND EVEN STAYED WITH US FOR A LITTLE BIT IN THE BEGINNING TIL THEY HAD A PLACE OF THEIR OWN.

THEY GOT SETTLED IN AND THAT BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL WAS BORN!!!

THEY FOUND A PLACE TO RENT AND START THEIR LIFE TOGETHER. 

 

BUT HE WAS JEALOUS AND ANGRY THAT I SPENT TIME WITH THEM, BOUGHT THINGS FOR THEM AND IT STARTED AGAIN.

THEN ONE EVENING I WAS FIXING SUPPER,  THE KIDS WERE COMING TO EAT WITH US.

HE GOT MAD AND PULLED A BUTCHER KNIFE AND SWUNG AT ME.

THAT WAS THE BREAKING POINT. 

I GOT THROUGH SUPPER LIKE EVERYTHING WAS JUST FINE.

WENT TO BED, SCARED AND ANGRY AND TIRED OF IT ALL.

 

THE NEXT MORNING I THOUGHT THE KIDS WERE GROWN,  HE CANT HURT THEM NOW.

I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE AND NEVER EVER COME BACK AGAIN, I FILED FOR A DIVORCE.

I GOT AN ORDER OF PROTECTION AND STARTED LIVING MY LIFE, THOUGHT ALL WOULD BE WELL.

YET, I WAS SO ASHAMED AND ANGRY WITH MYSELF THAT I NEVER SPOKE UP, NEVER REPORTED ANYTHING. 

THAT I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO PUT UP WITH THIS ABUSE, RAPE, STAB WOUNDS, BROKEN BONES IN SILENCE FOR YEARS.

NOBODY UNDERSTOOD WHY I WAS WITH HIM, I WOULDN’T TELL THEM FOR FEAR OF MY CHILDRENS SAFETY.

I WAS AN IDIOT TO STAY!!    I WAS AN IDIOT NOT TO KICK HIM OUT!!    I WAS AN IDIOT FOR NOT PRESSING CHARGES!!

I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN  A DIVORCE YEARS EARLIER.

YET INSTEAD I BELIEVED HIS THREATS AND LIES.

I  WAS  PUTTING ME, MY CHILDREN, AND MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS THROUGH SUCH TURMOIL.

 

HE WENT ON TO STALK ME FOR YEARS HERE AND THERE, FOLLOWING ME, CALLS, MESSAGES.

BUT AT LAST, I DONT FEEL THREATENED BY HIM ANYMORE.

YES, THE NIGHTMARES STILL HAPPEN, THE DOCTORS CALL IT PTSD.

SIMPLY BECAUSE OF ALL THE ABUSE AND TRAUMA AND FEAR, I ENDURED.

BUT PRAISE THE LORD, I DON’T LET HIM BOTHER ME ANYMORE!

 

LADIES, DONT PUT UP WITH IT, LEAVE, FLEE, GO SOMEWHERE SAFE, FILE CHARGES, FILE FOR A DIVORCE, GET AN ORDER OF PROTECTION.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE…… LEARN FROM THESE STORIES. 

PLEASE GET AWAY FROM THE ABUSIVE MEN. 

THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT, THEY WILL NOT CHANGE AND IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE AS TIME PASSES.

MY PRAYER IS THAT YOU LISTEN WITH YOUR HEAD, AND NOT YOUR HEART.

THAT YOU WILL GET OUT AND DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU, YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR LIFE.

 

PLEASE LISTEN.

I HAD A HEAD INJURY FROM MY FIRST HUSBAND DELIBERATELY KNOCKING ME DOWN ON PAVEMENT AND BUSTING THE BACK OF MY HEAD.

I WAS RAPED, BEATEN, STABBED THREE TIMES, AND RECEIVED BROKEN BONES FROM THE NEXT HUSBAND.

AND NOW I ALSO LIVE WITH A PERMANENT NECK INJURY AND OTHER HEALTH ISSUES THAT CANT BE HEALED.

RUN LADIES, RUN NEVER TO LOOK BACK, NEVER TO GO BACK.

PLEASE LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!!!           

 

 

SENIOR ABUSE

 

How many of you have heard of Senior Care facilities and abuse?  If you’re like me, way too many times.

Just one time is too much!

Yet it happens often, and most of the time by the ones that are supposed to be taking care of them.

There are so many forms of physical abuse for Seniors in Nursing Homes and Care facilities.

There are physical confrontations where the caregiver, will push them, get them way too fast, or set them down way too hard, pull on their arms out of anger, berate them verbally, or neglect them completely knowing they need assistance and care; and what comes along with this mistreatment, bullying, that they better be quiet about it if they know what’s good for them. 

Many of our Seniors live in silence, fearful of what the abusive caregivers or others may do to them next, and they are way too frightened to speak up.

For the most part, families put their loved ones in a facility thinking it is the best thing for them.  But people, if you really love them and want the best for them; then you better be visiting often, phone calls are fine, yes but true eye to eye visits are going to help you know for sure about your loved ones. 

I have both worked, volunteered and visited many times in Nursing homes and Assisted Living Facilities.  Some professionals take great care of their residents, love them dearly.

But others sadly are horribly neglected or abused in various ways, personally, I think these cruel idiots need to be fired with the truth being put in their records, professional license revoked never to work in that profession again. 

Who is most apt to be abused, those that have nobody that cares enough to visit and talk with them.  To keep a known presence with your loved one. 

Believe me, you would be shocked how many of our precious Senior citizens are placed in a nursing home, without so much as a phone call, visit or anything from a family member or friend.                                                 

 It’s like, out of sight, out of mind.

To me, that is deplorable, these dear souls, loved you, raised you, took care of you, was there for you; and yet people just place them in a nursing home, and basically never ever return again.  I know of a few cases right here in my hometown.”

That’s so wrong on every level imaginable.   A  true tragedy people, a selfish, unloving cruel neglectful tragedy, shame on all those that do this!!!

And it’s not just in Nursing homes or assisted living facilities that this happens. 

 

It, unfortunately, happens in the Seniors own home, by caregivers and even family.  

 

There is abuse in some cases when the Senior is able to stay in their own home, with caregivers stopping in to help them.  I’ve known of occasions where the caregivers would only do part of their job to take care of them or be harsh with them. 

Then there are the adult children that move their loved ones in with them, or the siblings and family members take turns being with their loved ones in their own home.          

What happens some times?      

The family members get tired of their loved ones constant needs and snaps at them or worse.

 What are you thinking??????         

 Are you completely nuts?????? 

You do not hurt other people at any time, there is no reason for it, EVER!!!!   

 

PEOPLE, WAKE UP, GROW UP, THAT IS SO VERY WRONG.

NOBODY SHOULD EVER ABUSE ANOTHER PERSON, EVER!!!!!  

SO  STOP!      BE SMART ENOUGH TO GET YOURSELF COUNSELING, ANGER MANAGEMENT!       

STOP THE MADNESS!!!!          STOP THE CYCLES!!!!!          STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!!!

 

 

 

PEOPLE PLEASE IF YOU OR SOMEBODY YOU KNOW IS BEING ABUSED IN ANY WAY………..

PLEASE PLEASE, SPEAK UP,  I SO WISH THAT I HAD, TELL THE TRUTH TO SOMEBODY!!!

DONT MAKE THE MISTAKES I MADE, AND LIVE IN FEAR, WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM, FEELING AS IF YOU BROUGHT IT ON, THAT IT ALL MUST BE YOUR FAULT, OR YOU DESERVE IT!!!

NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY EVER DESERVES TO BE ABUSED IN ANY WAY FORM OR FASHION!!!

MOST OF THE TIME THE ABUSERS THREATS IF YOU TELL ARE SIMPLY SCARE TACTICS TO KEEP YOU SILENT!!!

PLEASE WHETHER IT IS AN INFANT, TODDLER, CHILD, TEENAGER, YOUNG ADULT, MIDDLE AGE ADULT, OR SENIOR; SPEAK UP, TELL SOMEBODY YOU TRUST AND GET HELP NOW!!!!

YOU ARE A VALUABLE WORTHY PERSON, YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR FROM SOMEBODY EVER!!!

PLEASE SPEAK UP, TELL SOMEBODY!!!

I SO WISH I HAD SO MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE, DONT MAKE MY MISTAKES!!!

 

Sticks and Stones

Do ya’ll remember the quote about sticks and stones?

It was usually said when school kids started calling each other names.

The old quote says:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!”

Truthfully I have no idea who came up with such a quote.

But, well, to be honest, he was an idiot, an absolute complete idiot.

Yes, the sticks and stones can hurt or maybe even break a bone here and there.

In time the bruises heal, the bones mend.

That part is true.

But where on earth did they decide words will never hurt me???????

Really?

That is a big old lie if ever there was one.

Words have the power to lift you up,

Help you feel great about yourself,

Encourage you, make you feel special,

Know that somebody cares about you,

Values you,

Loves you.

Yet on the other hand, mean words, cruel words and ugly name calling does hurt,

Sometimes they hurt deeply; sometimes cutting clear to the bone.

Just ask anybody in school that has been called names because of their looks, or they wear glasses or have braces, or maybe they aren’t as smart as others, or not as athletic as some.

Kids can be really cruel pint-size human beings!!!!

Growing up back in the day, I heard coaches and teachers undermine students, literally crushing their spirits.

When they should have been lifting them up with patience and encouragement.

Shame on each and every adult in any profession, but especially working with children and teens.

SHAME ON YOU ALL!!!!!

Then there are parents, they have bad days at work, come home and yell at each other, yell at the kids, even yells at the dog.

What about sibling rivalry, we may love our brothers and sisters, but sometimes, things get heated and words fly.

Maybe your boss or coworker that chooses to gripe and fuss and berate you simply because you made a mistake.

No matter what walk of life you are from, what country, what family, what school, what profession.

Words are always used, in many different languages, but no matter what language you speak,

Remember words have the ability to sometimes lift you up, yet other times tear you down.

We all should be careful and keep our tongue in check,

Because folks….. Words Really Do Hurt!!!

Sometimes much longer than a stick or stone.

Next time your upset or angry.

Take a slow deep relaxing breath ever so slowly.

Then silently ask yourself, “Would I want to be called names and yelled at?”

I can promise you, that if you’re honest with yourself, the answer would be NO!

REMEMBER THAT UNKIND WORDS, NAME CALLING,

INSULTS, THEY ALL HURT OTHERS.

SOMETIMES FOR YEARS AFTER THEY HAVE BEEN SAID!!!!!

And once they leave your mouth, you can’t take them back,

and “I’m sorry” doesn’t fix it.

Imagine if you will, a tree…

if you drive a nail into that tree, symbolizing the ugly words you hurl at others.

Then feel bad about putting that nail there and remove it, symbolizing the I’m sorry.

What is left when you look at that tree?

A hole in its bark, a scar……

the same thing that people leave with others when they lash out, or bully, or yell, or put down or name call.

The lesson of this blog…..

WORDS DO HURT!!

INSULTS DO HURT!!

PUT DOWNS HURT!!

NAME CALLING HURTS!!

BULLYING HURTS!!

SO STOP AND THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK,

BECAUSE YOU REALLY CAN’T TAKE IT BACK,

WITHOUT LEAVING SCARS!!!!!

Pain Pill Dangers

 

Pain, doctors, pills, side effects, often addiction, worse yet overdose, death.

We live in such a time of pain pill addictions.

It’s so very sad, that something that was made to help a person with true aches and pains, has turned into a major epidemic where people are pill addicts and overdose victims.

From a personal standpoint, I can tell you they are very dangerous.

In some cases, when taken for a very short period of time, per doctors orders; they can leave you with side effects, sometimes serious.

Side effects that you may be forced to live with from now on.

I tell you that from actual personal experience, I was prescribed Dilaudid three times a day, for seven days after jaw surgery.

I could not function, all I did was sleep except when hubby woke me up for a boost to drink and more medicine.

When I finally finished it, and I finally could stay awake, slowly got my brain out of a weeklong fog, got the limbs working again, I thought to myself ok, ” I survived the surgery and the hardest part of recovery.”

But would you like to know a secret?

My problems were just beginning!

My entire body woke up, except for my stomach and digestive system.

The Dilaudid had paralyzed my digestive system.

It took a few years, several doctors, test after test, trial medications, and finally several trips to the Mayo Clinic in Florida, and even more tests, bunches of them, till I finally got a definitive answer and diagnosis.

What was the diagnosis? 

Severe gastroparesis due to the Dilaudid prescription that was prescribed in 2012, some four years earlier. 

Prognosis, basically my body could not process food as my digestive system should.  Plan of care,  boost and ensure and such drinks, at least six per day, lots of water, Benefiber and peppermint herbal tea, no food.

For how long you wonder?  The rest of my life; all because of a week of strong pain pills.

I have finally started getting used to it, I stick to my medical plan of care, eat some real food on Saturdays only, and then suffer in ways you can’t imagine til Wednesday when I medically treat it.

Week in, week out, this month, next month, next year, for the rest of my life.

But it’s hard, everywhere you look there is food.   Restaurants, billboards, magazines, television, movies, family get-togethers, Holidays, cookouts, Church socials, even grocery shopping. 

All of it is a never-ending reminder of the agony of pain pills effects on my system. 

I try so hard to act like it doesn’t bother me when everybody else is eating, and I’m drinking a protein drink. 

But it does, oh how it does.

I am 53 years old, I was in my mid 40’s when all this started, ensure and boost is for seriously sick Seniors, not a woman in her fifties.

Truthfully the whole situation just stinks, all because of pain pills.

People, please listen to me. 

Pain pills are ever so dangerous, the side effects, the fact that your body gets immune to them, and the pain gets worse, so you go back for higher doses again and again.

I don’t want anybody to ever go through what I do, and it can be avoided by just staying away from pain pills.

Most all of us have aches and pains, but use a muscle rub, ice, heat, massage, icy hot, aspercreme, bio freeze, the lists are endless, anything but pain pills.

Folks, please don’t become another statistic, don’t get so hooked on them that you become an opioid addict.

You’re worth more than that!  Your loved ones, family and friends care and love you dearly!

I’ve known so many people that have gotten seriously ill and some actually died from opioids. 

Some I think were by accident, simply took too many, but some were planned and deliberate. 

Don’t do that to your family and friends, not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

I’ve seen loved ones hooked on pills, stressing because they need their next ‘fix”.   Going to great lengths and stupid stunts to get it.

You can not start to imagine how much your addiction hurts your family and friends who love you! 

LISTEN TO ME, if you’re sitting there thinking, “Oh you’re wrong, my family and or my friends do it with me, it’s cool, it’s what everybody does.” 

Listen and please listen good.  They are NOT your friends. 

True friends want the best for you, and pain pills are anything but the best for you.

They destroy your body, you can become addicted, and keep wanting more and more, till one day you possibly overdose, and maybe, just maybe, somebody will find you in time, to get you medical help, maybe. 

To visit you in a hospital is one thing, but to have to visit you in a cemetery is the worst thing ever.

You’re precious, you’re wanted and you’re loved by so many! 

Don’t destroy your life and the life of your friends and loved ones because of stupid pain pills!

Don’t cause your loved ones to have to visit you in the cemetery with so many unanswered questions, the biggest one. 

“Why?” 

“Why did you do this?”

“Why didn’t you leave the pills alone?” 

“Why didn’t you care enough to stop what you were doing to yourself?”

“Why didn’t you come to us for help?”

“Why didn’t you love us enough to stop?”

“What do I tell our children when they ask why you had to die?”

“Why were you so selfish, that you didn’t care enough to leave the stupid pills alone?”

“Why did you leave me?”

“I love you, I need you, I so want you back here with me.”

“WHY?”

 

Abortion – The Murder of a Precious Life!

 

FIRST THING I WANT TO SAY, IS THAT ABORTION IS WRONG, AT ANY AGE, AT ANY STAGE, FOR ANY REASON!!!

PLEASE BE AWARE THAT SOME OF THESE HORRID PICTURES ARE GUT WRENCHING, BUT IT’S WHAT WOMEN ARE DOING TO THEIR BABIES!

 

So many people feel there is nothing wrong with having an abortion.

I can’t even imagine how they can even start to feel this way.

How can a person think that? 

Why would a person think such a horrible wicked thing?

It’s going to tear your heart out, it did mine choosing real images of precious babies being killed in such horrible despicable evil ways.

But if you are NOT PRO-LIFE, and you think there is nothing wrong with these gruesome acts, I pray this touches your heart and changes you immediately.

A fetus is a baby, a helpless little baby, that has not harmed you in any way.

Your baby would bring you joys beyond measure if you would only think of this precious baby instead of your selfish life.

LOOK ………   LOOK HOW THEY KILL YOUR BABY…….

LOOK WHAT YOU CHOSE TO DO…….

I hope those images are seared into your mind and heart forever if you think abortion is okay.   

Simply put,  ABORTION OF A BABY AT ANY TIME, ANY STAGE, IS COLD BLOODED MURDER, CAUSING PAIN TO THAT PRECIOUS CHILD INSIDE YOU!!!

 

 

I will never understand their reasoning of taking an innocent life in such a brutal way!!

A baby is a human being from the time of conception.

God planned this special unique baby to be conceived and born exactly to the woman that is pregnant for a wonderful purpose.

He knew this precious baby long before you ever even conceived this precious little one.

He knew how many hairs would be on their little head, whether it’s a boy or girl, and everything about this precious life. The color of their little eyes, everything.

God created this special baby for a purpose and knew all about the life He had planned for this precious life, this precious baby!

 

And then this cold-hearted selfish woman, decides I don’t want this baby and decides to have an abortion.

Why? How can you do such a hideous thing, how?

A precious little baby to hold in your arms, sing lullabies to and rock to sleep, and love with all your heart!

A precious child to watch grow up and be that sweet little boy that adores his Mommy, and comes walking in the kitchen with little dirty hands, where he had just picked a flower for the most important person in the world to him, his Mommy?

Or maybe your baby is a girl, a sweet adorable little girl that loves you beyond words, you two laugh and have fun playing with dolls and having tea parties, that sweet little girl that wants to be like her Mommy, dressing up and playing in your pretty shoes as all little girls do.

A precious boy or girl that you get the privilege of watching grow up, listening to people talk so affectionately of your child. “Oh she has your eyes,” or “Oh look he has your smile”.

A precious child of yours that gives you lots of hugs and holds your hand, and snuggles close and says, “I Love You, Mommy!”

A precious little child that says “Mommy will you read me a bedtime story?”

A sweet little girl that watches you in the kitchen and asks “Mommy can I help you make cookies?” Then you spend time showing your little girl how to make and frost cookies, with lots of laughs and giggles.

That darling little boy of yours that is outside playing and falls and scratches his knee, and who does he come running to?

His Mommy of course, because she loves him more than anybody else in this world, and she can make everything better.

You clean and bandage his little knee, and give him a hug and kiss and all is well in his little world again.

Then as they grow up, they come to you for advice, because your Mom and Moms have all the answers, for school questions, problems with friends, their first crush, and on and on.

When they graduate school and are ready to go to college or perhaps move out on their own because you have raised them well; and they are ready to be a wonderful adult like their Mom or Dad.

Or maybe its time to plan your daughters’ wedding, and oh the joy you both share planning for that special day when she gives her heart to a wonderful man, and you gain a son in law.

Or your son brings this sweet girl home, and you just think the world of her and they marry and you gain a wonderful daughter in law.

Or the greatest joy of all, one of your grown children comes to you and says “Mom, we have some wonderful news, you’re going to be a Grandma!”

BUT………..

None of that will happen, will it?

You will never know the joys, the tenderness, the love of that precious baby, will you?

WHY???

Because you were selfish, your career means more, you don’t have time for a baby, or its the wrong time for a baby, your not ready, or you think you can’t take care of a baby, or a baby would interfere with your fun, your life that you are enjoying, or a million other EXCUSES…. YES, EXCUSES!!!!

SO YOU DECIDE I WILL HAVE AN ABORTION, I WILL JUST GET RID OF THE PROBLEM!!!   SHAME ON YOU!!!!

A baby is never ever a problem. He or she is a wonderful little baby from the very second of conception. They can move and feel and hear and wiggle their little fingers and toes, even smile while you are carrying that precious life while awaiting their birth.

Do any of you realize that by the time you have missed your period, your baby’s circulatory system and heart are already forming? Their little heart will start to beat that week, a precious beautiful sound to hear.

By the next week, his or her ears, nose and facial features are visible and their brain is developing. Week seven your baby has doubled in size and their little hands and feet are starting to take shape.

By week ten, the nervous system is functioning, organs are formed, she is moving around and her or his little nails are starting to form.

By week twelve, your baby is almost fully formed, reflexes are in motion, hands opening and closing, little toes curling, even gets the hiccups from time to time.

Fast forward a bit, the four-month stage. Your precious baby is sucking her thumb, can sense light and will turn her little face away from your tummy if you get in bright light, and oh how your precious little baby is growing.

The five-month stage 20 weeks, she or he is moving a lot, flexing their little arms and legs, has their sensory organs in place, can swallow and is sucking his or her thumb and can hear his or her Mommy’s voice. You can read or sing and they listen, it’s their Mommy’s voice, their precious Mommy is singing to them!

By week 24, her lips and eyebrows are fully formed, she can hear more and more sounds and looks like a skinny version of that beautiful baby that’s going to call you Mommy one day.

By week 28, she is practicing her breathing in and out, her or his little hair is growing (is it brown, blonde, maybe red), and she can even blink now.

By week 32, your baby is growing by leaps and bounds, bones are getting stronger, lungs are breathing better and that little brain is getting smarter and smarter as you keep talking to him or her.

By week 36, your precious baby is really growing and finishing up her final stages of bone strength and its getting very crowded in there.

And then, at last, your beautiful adorable precious baby is born and placed in your arms, and as you look into his or her little tiny face, you can’t help but cry tears of joy for that precious life, your baby, that you are holding in your arms.

 

OH — BUT WAIT — THAT CANT HAPPEN BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO KILL YOUR PRECIOUS BABY INSTEAD!!!

So instead of holding that beautiful baby in your arms, you chose to have your baby brutally dissected piece by piece, skull smashed and tossed away like yesterdays trash, or given a shot with salt or saline to end their life, or partially birthed and stabbed; and on and on with these torturous, senseless, horrible murderous deaths.

We wouldn’t treat an animal like that, yet we kill millions of babies every single day like it’s nothing.

People deliberately do these horrible despicable unspeakable things to a precious little innocent baby. No matter the method, you gave up one of the most precious gifts in this entire world and committed murder of an innocent precious life.

 

 

A precious baby that God gave just to you, trusted you with, to love and raise to the best of your ability showering them with love and affection, teaching him or her wonderful things, and protecting them as only a Mom or Dad can.

A precious, adorable living and breathing baby that would have one day looked into your eyes, hugged your neck, kissed you on the cheek, and said…. “I LOVE YOU, MOMMY, YOUR THE BEST MOMMY EVER!”

So ladies, please rethink your decision, because that life is precious. If for some reason you really truly can not raise your baby, take the best care of yourself as you possibly can while you’re pregnant, and then after he or she is born, place that precious baby for adoption.

Do you have any idea how many millions of women would love to have a baby to raise, a child to watch grow up, to love and take care of, and enjoy being a Mom to your precious baby?

Ladies please, please, let’s stop abortion, totally and completely.

One of the first really horrible decisions we made in the last century, is allowing abortion, it seems to have started our world into a downward spiral of more and more evil and less and less of God.

Life is so precious, please stop killing innocent babies, and love them instead!!!!

I promise the rewards of your child loving you is one of the most precious things in the world!!!!!

Taming the Beast

Taming the beast, what beast am I talking about?

Well, it would depend on who you ask, and how honest of a person they are.

You see, I think all of us have at least one beast, or demon, or addiction or problem that needs to be tamed. Yet so many of us try to keep that beast hidden.

I’m sure you know what I mean. To the world we have it all together, life is grand, good life, good family, happy home etc. But behind closed doors, those rosy glasses come off, the masks are removed that covers our frustrations, anger, and demons and bad habits that we tuck safely away when out in the world.

And then when all the facades are removed, what’s left? The real us, the real person, the real me. So, now do you know what I am talking about?

Can I make a confession? To the world, I appear to be a sweet, kind, charming woman that loves everybody. But my beast, as bad as I hate to admit it, is my mouth. Yes, I really am a kind, generous loving soul that loves being an encouragement to others and loves people.

But every once in a while, as bad as I hate to admit it. That ugly beast shows up usually without warning, and oh my goodness. I become anything but sweet. I so very much dislike that about myself.

Looking back throughout my life, it has always been by mouth that got me in trouble. All those school years, you guessed it, talking in class. I can’t tell you how many times my nose was stuck in that circle on the chalkboard for talking in class. Goodness, I hate to admit it, but in first grade, I got my only paddling, by one of the sweetest teachers I ever had, Mrs. Rymer. Why? For talking in the class of course, when she stepped out of the room. But there’s no doubt I deserved it.

Yes, people, when I was growing up the phrase.” spare the rod, spoil the child” had action behind it. It’s a shame it still is not in practice today. This group of kids and young adults in today’s world would be much better behaved and have respect and morals.

But anyway, back to the topic; no doubt about it, my beast is my mouth.

Even as a child and teenager at home, oh the times I got in trouble for sassing or talking back to my parents. There were a lot of spankings, nose in the cornet times, groundings and writing a 1000 times… “I will not talk back to my parents.” UGH!!!!!

Oh my goodness, me and my big mouth! Did all of that change it? No, not really, still today, I haven’t learned how to control that mouth of mine all the time.

For the most part, I am that sweet kind hearted soul that loves to be happy and make people smile. But then there’s that 4 or 5 percent of the time, when the evils witch gets flipped, and that same mouth that is so sweet one minute, turns really sour and ugly. My tongue becomes as sharp as a two-edged sword.

Please, do not for a minute think that I am proud of it; because I certainly am not. I’m morbidly ashamed of it, the cruel words, yelling, anger, very ashamed. Oh my, how embarrassed I am of the way I act at times.

So here I am bearing my soul and admitting my problem with the beast of my mouth and the cruel phrases and words that come from it at times.

Why? Because I believe when you admit things to yourself and others it puts a light on the subject; it makes you more aware of it. Yes, it’s extremely humiliating and embarrassing to say it out loud, to admit a bad habit. Goodness yes, but maybe, just maybe, that confession will help me to tame my beast.

Our mouth, our tongue I think has always been a problem for mankind. Does that make it okay for me to act in such a way? Goodness no! But its obviously a huge problem. Why do you ask?

Because the Bible is filled with verses about our mouth. How were to control our tongue, and use it to edify and not tear down and to praise and not condemn.

So if you’re like me and your beast is that Dr. Jeckyl/ Mr. Hyde mouth, I pray this blog helps you to stop and think and maybe be willing to admit it, if only to yourself, and strive to tame your beast also. I know I’m going to try hard, truthfully I have been trying, because of the conviction I feel with that evil tongue, those cruel insulting words, oh my. Should I be able to control it?

Yes. I’m reminded of a story Joyce Meyer told…. of course, this isn’t the word for word, but you’ll understand it. She said you can be home yelling and screaming with awful words flying…. the doorbell ring… you see it’s the preacher… you stop immediately, put on your happy face as if nothing is wrong and life is wonderful… open the door ever so gracefully. “Hello Pastor, so kind of you to stop by. Won’t you come in?”

Ouch…. ain’t that the truth? If we can stop our evil mouth in the presence of others, then why can’t we treat our loved ones, and those that are closest to us, with the same kindness and respect?

Certainly, something to think on, ain’t it?

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