Just Simple Times

Every journey begins with that first step!

Physical Abuse

WARNING:  PICTURES AND  STORIES ARE HEART-WRENCHING, PLEASE BE PREPARED!!!

This is a tough topic for me because it hits home, both on a personal level as a victim and with others that I know that have been abused also. 

Please be patient as you read this and do not judge, it is not anybody’s place to judge but God’s.

This blog is not meant for a gossip session, it is simply a story of peoples lives that have been deeply hurt by abuse. 

It isn’t written for sympathy, it is written so prayerfully others will read it, talk to somebody trustworthy, make changes and not suffer the way so many millions of others and myself have.

We’re going to start at the beginning.  

INFANT ABUSE

Who could ever be such an evil monster as to hurt a tiny, helpless baby?

Yet it happens every day of every year, multiple times per day, some resulting in serious injuries and sadly some in death. 

So many babies are hurt by the shaken baby syndrome, why would you want to do that?

If your baby is crying then try singing to the wee one, or check the diaper, maybe they’re hungry.                                                                                 

 If you start to lose control, gently lay your baby in its crib.

Leave the room and walk into a different room for just a couple of minutes.  

Compose yourself, remember this is a precious baby that depends on you to love it.

That precious baby crying a few minutes alone while you get composure is so much better than you losing your cool.

Hurting your baby, shaking your baby to death; or hitting that precious little one, or any other harm you may do.

Please don’t ever hurt your baby or any baby.  They are helpless and should only receive love and care.

God blessed you with a beautiful baby, but injuring or killing it, is one of the most gruesome cruel things you can possibly ever do. 

This precious baby was placed in a coma because some idiot lost their cool.

How?       Why?       How can you live with this?      Your own baby?

That precious baby trusts you to take care of it, help it, love the little one,  rock it to sleep, hold him, sing, cuddle, feed him or her, absolutely adore that precious baby of yours, or that you are caring for.

Love is not bringing harm to a baby, for any reason, at any time, ever!

Do not ever be a monster and hurt or murder your baby, or anybody else’s baby. 

There is absolutely no excuse for abuse or harm to a baby ever, not ever!!!!!

CHILD ABUSE

Nobody has a right to ever hurt a child either, ever, not under any circumstances.  

Abuse comes in many forms, verbal abuse – calling your child names, insulting them, comparing them to their siblings, telling them they will never be worth anything, those words hurt, and they hurt deep.  I know, I honestly truly know.

Then there’s physical abuse – slapping a child across the face, punching them with your fist.

Or shoving them down, throwing things at them, hitting them with whatever you can get your hands on at the moment. 

People that is absolutely wrong, each and every one of these actions are wrong, and bring harm to a child.

Abuse leaves scars in many forms, some visible, many not.

But often times, those memories and emotional scars, they will carry them throughout their lives.

The Bible says spare the rod, spoil the child.   But that does not mean to beat your child, ever.

A spanking should only be done with love. 

Never should it be done in anger, that can turn into a beating with anger and rage.

A belt that is used too harshly or out of anger can cause marks, bruises, and blood under the skin for days.

Not to mention the undue pain caused to your child, worse yet a hickory off a tree.

 They leave horrible painful blood “You better not tell a soul unless you want more where that came from.”

Oh people, parents, grandparents, babysitters, family, friends…

Please, please wake up, and treat children with love, and stop this madness of childhood abuse!!

   TEEN YEARS AND DATING

Girls, I want to tell you something point blank.

I learned this from experience first hand.

If you have a friend or boyfriend, and he yells at you, or puts you down, or insults you, or worse yet abuses you in any way form or fashion…..

Girls, LISTEN…. drop him like a hot potato, never to take him back.

If a guy treats you bad just when your friends or dating,

IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE IN TIME!

You may be thinking, I have no idea what I am talking about.

But I experienced it first hand, with a boyfriend, and it only got worse. 

Thank the Lord, I finally wised up and broke up with him.

Please, girls, listen, drop them, break up and steer clear.

If he hurts you now, he will most definitely hurt you more and more and even harsher even later.

PLEASE LISTEN, AND RUN!!!!               THE GUY IS NOT WORTH IT.

YOU ARE A VALUABLE WONDERFUL GIRL, AND YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!

MARITAL ABUSE

I’m going to talk straight from experience and the heart here. 

This part is very tough to write and probably hard to read for some of you, but sometimes God uses the really bad things in one’s life to help others.  

So, do not feel sorry for me as you read this, but listen to what I am saying and please, please learn from my mistakes. 

I don’t ever want another woman or any children to go through what we did.

Let’s start at the beginning, I married my high school sweetheart. 

He was 19, I was 16.  No, I was not pregnant, before you start thinking that. 

I suppose we got married a bit too young because the honeymoon part only lasted about a month.

Please know I loved and still love this man, God rest his soul. 

I don’t think two people in love can share 15 years together and have two children, and divorce just kills that love you shared. 

Yes, it changes, but yet, it is still there.

We started arguing a lot over family, finances, all those early marriage things.

Then one day he hit me across the face.

  I called my parents and moved back home. 

What happened next? 

 He called  and said, “I don’t know what came over me, come back home honey, I’m so sorry, and I’ll never hurt you again, I promise.”    

I went back and it wasn’t a month till it happened again.       

Same promises, good for a while, abuse again.                                                

NO, I wasn’t innocent in all of it, I would lash out at him big time when he started cussing and calling me names. 

But, I did not deserve to be physically abused, no person ever deserves physical abuse.

Time passed, we had our first child a son, a year later I was pregnant again with our baby girl. 

What happened? 

He wasn’t happy, he didn’t want another child, we were fighting constantly, and in anger, he threw me across a bed into the floor and wall and walked out. 

I was about 6 months pregnant, and neither he or the family in that room cared at all about what had just happened, nobody. 

I called my parents to come and get me and went back home to my parents’ house.

This time I filed for divorce and he called begging me to drop it daily, that he had changed, he was sorry, he would never ever hurt me again, he promised.

I so wanted us to work it out, we had one child, and one on the way; so I canceled the divorce, believed him and went back again. 

This pattern went on for years, good times, bad times, leaving, apologies and promises; then promises broken over and over.

Why did I stay because of our children, and because I loved him?

I always blamed it on the fact that he was tired, or had a rough day, or didn’t feel good. 

I was always making excuses to try to justify it in my mind.

Then one day, he struck our son in the face, we were in the car headed to a funeral.

  I was livid.

I told him he better not ever lay a hand on one of our children again.

But one day in one of his fits he threatened to hit our son again; our children were small both under the age of 10 years old. 

Yes, I know what I am about to tell you will probably shock the daylights out of you.

But I got our children and we went into our bedroom, told the kids to stay on that bed and not move.

When he yelled and cussed and tried to come in, I met him with a double barrel shotgun, pointed straight in his chest.

I very firmly told him if he ever laid a hand on our children or even threatened it I would kill him point blank, period!!

No, the gun wasn’t loaded and I just prayed hard he would think it was. 

He backed off then, and never once did he threaten that again.

It got better for a couple of years, but then it started again.  

There was a tragic accident, and it changed him horribly. 

And before we knew it he announced at Christmastime at the table during supper to all of us, “I am moving out the first of the year.”

He really did, then it was just me and the two kids, and our world was torn apart. 

But we managed, with God’s grace, me working and others help we got through it.

But it was a wicked divorce, with way too many harsh words, threats, and our two children’s world was shattered.

He never called them, didn’t even send birthday cards, he acted like they didn’t even exist for about a year.

What happened, I met somebody else, and somehow he found out.

Then, and only then, he suddenly wanted to be in our children’s lives,

But that was the absolute only good thing in the future that came out of me meeting somebody else.

SECOND MARRIAGE

THIS IS GOING TO BE MY HARDEST TIME TO TELL YOU ABOUT, IT IS STILL WAY TOO PAINFUL IN SO MANY WAYS TO EVEN THINK ABOUT.

I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES VERY OFTEN BECAUSE OF THIS TIME IN LIFE!!!

BUT WHAT I AM GOING TO TELL YOU IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN!!!!

I THOUGHT THIS GUY I MET WAS REALLY NICE, EVEN PICKED US UP AND TOOK US TO CHURCH IN THE VERY BEGINNING, BUT…

THE OLD SAYING BEWARE OF THE WOLF IN SHEEPS CLOTHING DESCRIBES THIS MONSTER OF A MAN.

THE TRUE SIDE OF HIM CAME OUT VERY QUICKLY, HE WAS THE EPITOME OF ABUSIVE.

HE DESTROYED MY LIFE, AND MY CHILDRENS LIVES.

WHY?                                          HOW?

HE CAME ONE NIGHT AT THREE IN THE MORNING WHILE I WAS ONLY DATING HIM AND BROKE OUT MY BEDROOM WINDOW.

I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO FORGIVE HIM AND GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE WHEN HE APOLOGIZED AND SAID IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

TIME PASSED AND I WAS CRAZY ENOUGH TO MARRY THIS GUY.

WE WERE IN CHURCH IT ALL SEEMED GOOD, BUT WITHIN THE FIRST MONTH…. 

HE HAD HIT ME SEVERAL TIMES AGAIN.

THEN ONE NIGHT HE WAS ANGRY AND LOCKED OUR BEDROOM DOOR.

MY CHILDREN HEARD IT SHUT AND CAME AND ASKED IF I WAS OKAY.

I HAD TO LIE TO MY BABIES AND SAY I WAS FINE.

WHILE LYING THERE IN SILENCE BEING THREATENED THAT HE WOULD HARM THEM NEXT AND BEING VIOLENTLY RAPED.

ONCE AGAIN HE  THREATENED ME THAT IF I TOLD ANYBODY OR TRIED TO LEAVE HE WOULD HURT MY CHILDREN.

I WAS AFRAID OF HIM,  FOR MYSELF, BUT MOSTLY FOR MY CHILDREN!!

I WAS TERRIFIED AND  AFRAID HE REALLY WOULD HURT THEM. 

SO I SAID NOTHING TO NOBODY.

I COULDN’T ALWAYS HIDE THE MARKS, THE BRUISES, THE BUSTED LIP,  BUT I WOULD SAY I FELL, OR RAN INTO THE DOOR.

I WOULD COVER THE BRUISES AND CUTS AS BEST AS POSSIBLE AND PRETENDED ALL WAS WELL. 

BUT HE TERRORIZED US, THREATENED ME WITH HARMING THE KIDS.

ABUSED ME, VERBALLY,  EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY.

HE EVEN BROKE MY LEG IN A FIT OF ANGER,  IT WAS HORRIBLE.

AND AGAIN WAS THREATENED TELL SOMEBODY AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR KIDS.

AFTER A TIME, MY SON WENT TO LIVE WITH HIS DAD, AND MY DAUGHTER FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTER.

I THOUGHT, AT LAST, I CAN GET AWAY FROM HIM, BUT….. 

WHEN I TOLD HIM I WAS FILING FOR A DIVORCE TO GET OUT,….

HE…. HE….  HE PINNED ME DOWN AND STABBED ME IN THREE PLACES WITH THIS LITTLE TOOL HE KEPT FOR WORK.

MY LEG, MY THIGH, AND THE SIDE OF MY CHEST.

HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING.

NOT DEEP ENOUGH TO NEED AN AMBULANCE, BUT DEEP ENOUGH TO CAUSE SEVERE PAIN. 

I REMEMBER BEING MORE TERRIFIED THAN I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE.

I WAS SO AFRAID HE WAS FINALLY GOING TO KILL ME.

I HURT AND BLED SO BAD, YET I DIDN’T TELL A SOUL, NEVER REPORTED IT.

I TREATED THE STAB WOUNDS THE BEST WAY I KNEW HOW AND REMAINED SILENT, PRETENDING ALL WAS WELL.

WHY?   BECAUSE HE TOLD ME HE WOULD DO THE SAME THINGS TO MY KIDS IF I MADE HIM LEAVE AND DIVORCED HIM.

TIME PASSED AND IT GOT BETTER AGAIN, NO ABUSE FOR MONTHS.  I THOUGHT AT LAST SOME PEACE.

THE KIDS GREW UP, THEY HAD EVEN STARTED VISITING SOME, THINGS HAD GOTTEN BETTER.

MY DAUGHTER MARRIED AND I WAS EXPECTING MY FIRST GRANDCHILD. 

ALL WAS WELL FOR A BIT, EVEN BACK IN CHURCH TOGETHER.

MY DAUGHTER AND HER HUSBAND EVEN STAYED WITH US FOR A LITTLE BIT IN THE BEGINNING TIL THEY HAD A PLACE OF THEIR OWN.

THEY GOT SETTLED IN AND THAT BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL WAS BORN!!!

THEY FOUND A PLACE TO RENT AND START THEIR LIFE TOGETHER. 

BUT HE WAS JEALOUS AND ANGRY THAT I SPENT TIME WITH THEM, BOUGHT THINGS FOR THEM AND IT STARTED AGAIN.

THEN ONE EVENING I WAS FIXING SUPPER,  THE KIDS WERE COMING TO EAT WITH US.

HE GOT MAD AND PULLED A BUTCHER KNIFE AND SWUNG AT ME.

THAT WAS THE BREAKING POINT. 

I GOT THROUGH SUPPER LIKE EVERYTHING WAS JUST FINE.

WENT TO BED, SCARED AND ANGRY AND TIRED OF IT ALL.

THE NEXT MORNING I THOUGHT THE KIDS WERE GROWN,  HE CANT HURT THEM NOW.

I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE AND NEVER EVER COME BACK AGAIN, I FILED FOR A DIVORCE.

I GOT AN ORDER OF PROTECTION AND STARTED LIVING MY LIFE, THOUGHT ALL WOULD BE WELL.

YET, I WAS SO ASHAMED AND ANGRY WITH MYSELF THAT I NEVER SPOKE UP, NEVER REPORTED ANYTHING. 

THAT I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO PUT UP WITH THIS ABUSE, RAPE, STAB WOUNDS, BROKEN BONES IN SILENCE FOR YEARS.

NOBODY UNDERSTOOD WHY I WAS WITH HIM, I WOULDN’T TELL THEM FOR FEAR OF MY CHILDRENS SAFETY.

I WAS AN IDIOT TO STAY!!    I WAS AN IDIOT NOT TO KICK HIM OUT!!    I WAS AN IDIOT FOR NOT PRESSING CHARGES!!

I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN  A DIVORCE YEARS EARLIER.

YET INSTEAD I BELIEVED HIS THREATS AND LIES.

I  WAS  PUTTING ME, MY CHILDREN, AND MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS THROUGH SUCH TURMOIL.

HE WENT ON TO STALK ME FOR YEARS HERE AND THERE, FOLLOWING ME, CALLS, MESSAGES.

BUT AT LAST, I DONT FEEL THREATENED BY HIM ANYMORE.

YES, THE NIGHTMARES STILL HAPPEN, THE DOCTORS CALL IT PTSD.

SIMPLY BECAUSE OF ALL THE ABUSE AND TRAUMA AND FEAR, I ENDURED.

BUT PRAISE THE LORD, I DON’T LET HIM BOTHER ME ANYMORE!

LADIES, DONT PUT UP WITH IT, LEAVE, FLEE, GO SOMEWHERE SAFE, FILE CHARGES, FILE FOR A DIVORCE, GET AN ORDER OF PROTECTION.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE…… LEARN FROM THESE STORIES. 

PLEASE GET AWAY FROM THE ABUSIVE MEN. 

THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT, THEY WILL NOT CHANGE AND IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE AS TIME PASSES.

MY PRAYER IS THAT YOU LISTEN WITH YOUR HEAD, AND NOT YOUR HEART.

THAT YOU WILL GET OUT AND DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU, YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR LIFE.

PLEASE LISTEN.

I HAD A HEAD INJURY FROM MY FIRST HUSBAND DELIBERATELY KNOCKING ME DOWN ON PAVEMENT AND BUSTING THE BACK OF MY HEAD.

I WAS RAPED, BEATEN, STABBED THREE TIMES, AND RECEIVED BROKEN BONES FROM THE NEXT HUSBAND.

AND NOW I ALSO LIVE WITH A PERMANENT NECK INJURY AND OTHER HEALTH ISSUES THAT CANT BE HEALED.

RUN LADIES, RUN NEVER TO LOOK BACK, NEVER TO GO BACK.

PLEASE LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!!!

SENIOR ABUSE

How many of you have heard of Senior Care facilities and abuse?  If you’re like me, way too many times.

Just one time is too much!

Yet it happens often, and most of the time by the ones that are supposed to be taking care of them.

There are so many forms of physical abuse for Seniors in Nursing Homes and Care facilities.

There are physical confrontations where the caregiver, will push them, get them way too fast, or set them down way too hard, pull on their arms out of anger, berate them verbally, or neglect them completely knowing they need assistance and care; and what comes along with this mistreatment, bullying, that they better be quiet about it if they know what’s good for them. 

Many of our Seniors live in silence, fearful of what the abusive caregivers or others may do to them next, and they are way too frightened to speak up.

For the most part, families put their loved ones in a facility thinking it is the best thing for them.  But people, if you really love them and want the best for them; then you better be visiting often, phone calls are fine, yes but true eye to eye visits are going to help you know for sure about your loved ones. 

I have both worked, volunteered and visited many times in Nursing homes and Assisted Living Facilities.  Some professionals take great care of their residents, love them dearly.

But others sadly are horribly neglected or abused in various ways, personally, I think these cruel idiots need to be fired with the truth being put in their records, professional license revoked never to work in that profession again. 

Who is most apt to be abused, those that have nobody that cares enough to visit and talk with them.  To keep a known presence with your loved one. 

Believe me, you would be shocked how many of our precious Senior citizens are placed in a nursing home, without so much as a phone call, visit or anything from a family member or friend.                                                 

 It’s like, out of sight, out of mind.

To me, that is deplorable, these dear souls, loved you, raised you, took care of you, was there for you; and yet people just place them in a nursing home, and basically never ever return again.  I know of a few cases right here in my hometown.”

That’s so wrong on every level imaginable.   A  true tragedy people, a selfish, unloving cruel neglectful tragedy, shame on all those that do this!!!

And it’s not just in Nursing homes or assisted living facilities that this happens. 

It, unfortunately, happens in the Seniors own home, by caregivers and even family.  

There is abuse in some cases when the Senior is able to stay in their own home, with caregivers stopping in to help them.  I’ve known of occasions where the caregivers would only do part of their job to take care of them or be harsh with them. 

Then there are the adult children that move their loved ones in with them, or the siblings and family members take turns being with their loved ones in their own home.          

What happens some times?      

The family members get tired of their loved ones constant needs and snaps at them or worse.

 What are you thinking??????         

 Are you completely nuts?????? 

You do not hurt other people at any time, there is no reason for it, EVER!!!!   

PEOPLE, WAKE UP, GROW UP, THAT IS SO VERY WRONG.

NOBODY SHOULD EVER ABUSE ANOTHER PERSON, EVER!!!!!  

SO  STOP!      BE SMART ENOUGH TO GET YOURSELF COUNSELING, ANGER MANAGEMENT!       

STOP THE MADNESS!!!!          STOP THE CYCLES!!!!!          STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!!!

PEOPLE PLEASE IF YOU OR SOMEBODY YOU KNOW IS BEING ABUSED IN ANY WAY………..

PLEASE PLEASE, SPEAK UP,  I SO WISH THAT I HAD, TELL THE TRUTH TO SOMEBODY!!!

DONT MAKE THE MISTAKES I MADE, AND LIVE IN FEAR, WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM, FEELING AS IF YOU BROUGHT IT ON, THAT IT ALL MUST BE YOUR FAULT, OR YOU DESERVE IT!!!

NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY EVER DESERVES TO BE ABUSED IN ANY WAY FORM OR FASHION!!!

MOST OF THE TIME THE ABUSERS THREATS IF YOU TELL ARE SIMPLY SCARE TACTICS TO KEEP YOU SILENT!!!

PLEASE WHETHER IT IS AN INFANT, TODDLER, CHILD, TEENAGER, YOUNG ADULT, MIDDLE AGE ADULT, OR SENIOR; SPEAK UP, TELL SOMEBODY YOU TRUST AND GET HELP NOW!!!!

YOU ARE A VALUABLE WORTHY PERSON, YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR FROM SOMEBODY EVER!!!

PLEASE SPEAK UP, TELL SOMEBODY!!!

I SO WISH I HAD SO MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE, DONT MAKE MY MISTAKES!!!

 

Helping Others

Do you know the joy of helping somebody else?

To me, there’s no greater gift that I can give another than to help.

I don’t mean just in monetary ways.

Just taking the time to do a kind gesture for a person.

Not because you have to, but because you want to.

You may be thinking, I can’t make ends meet now.

Helping others isn’t about money. 

There are as many different ways to help somebody as there are crayon colors.

And Crayola makes some mighty big boxes of crayons, nowadays!

For instance, here are a few ways to help others:

Hold a door open for a person.

Get something off a high shelf for a shopper.

Put a persons shopping cart away for them.

Allow somebody with fewer items to go in front of you at checkout.

Share your umbrella with another in the rain.

Help carry somebodies shopping bags.

Send a card to a friend or family member just because.

Take time to listen when someone needs to talk.

Take a coworker a coffee one morning out of the blue.

Treat a friend to lunch.

Take food to a family that has lost a loved one.

Help a person rake leaves.

Help weed the flowerbed.

Volunteer to cut the grass.

Take time just to visit a neighbor.

Offer to babysit for a single parent, to give them some “me” time.

Stop and buy that box of girl scout cookies.

Give to the fireman, the Shriners, and other organizations, even if it’s just a dime.

Smile at everybody you see and say hello.

Visit a Senior Citizens home, and just sit and visit with one or two.

Volunteer at your Church for projects and tasks.

Shovel the snow from a driveway.

Offer a hug when someone is hurting.

Spend a few extra dollars at Christmas for a gift for a child, that won’t have anything.

Clean out your closet and donate to others that could use your clothes or shoes.

Donate those extra winter coats and gloves for others.

Drop off books to the jails or prisons.

Volunteer at a library, or hospital, or anywhere people are needed.

Volunteer to read stories to children at your local elementary school.

Just simply show kindness everywhere you go.

If you take the time to think about this,

You will come up with a lot more ideas.

And just imagine if we all just showed kindness and did one small gesture a day,

How much happier the people in this world would be.

The recipient will feel that someone cares,  and you will feel a blessing in your heart.

So what are you waiting for?   

Let’s all go help somebody, in some little way.

I promise you both will be blessed for it!!!

Til next time, dear friends!!!!

 

Sticks and Stones

Do ya’ll remember the quote about sticks and stones?

It was usually said when school kids started calling each other names.

The old quote says:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!”

Truthfully I have no idea who came up with such a quote.

But, well, to be honest, he was an idiot, an absolute complete idiot.

Yes, the sticks and stones can hurt or maybe even break a bone here and there.

In time the bruises heal, the bones mend.

That part is true.

But where on earth did they decide words will never hurt me???????

Really?

That is a big old lie if ever there was one.

Words have the power to lift you up,

Help you feel great about yourself,

Encourage you, make you feel special,

Know that somebody cares about you,

Values you,

Loves you.

Yet on the other hand, mean words, cruel words and ugly name calling does hurt,

Sometimes they hurt deeply; sometimes cutting clear to the bone.

Just ask anybody in school that has been called names because of their looks, or they wear glasses or have braces, or maybe they aren’t as smart as others, or not as athletic as some.

Kids can be really cruel pint-size human beings!!!!

Growing up back in the day, I heard coaches and teachers undermine students, literally crushing their spirits.

When they should have been lifting them up with patience and encouragement.

Shame on each and every adult in any profession, but especially working with children and teens.

SHAME ON YOU ALL!!!!!

Then there are parents, they have bad days at work, come home and yell at each other, yell at the kids, even yells at the dog.

What about sibling rivalry, we may love our brothers and sisters, but sometimes, things get heated and words fly.

Maybe your boss or coworker that chooses to gripe and fuss and berate you simply because you made a mistake.

No matter what walk of life you are from, what country, what family, what school, what profession.

Words are always used, in many different languages, but no matter what language you speak,

Remember words have the ability to sometimes lift you up, yet other times tear you down.

We all should be careful and keep our tongue in check,

Because folks….. Words Really Do Hurt!!!

Sometimes much longer than a stick or stone.

Next time your upset or angry.

Take a slow deep relaxing breath ever so slowly.

Then silently ask yourself, “Would I want to be called names and yelled at?”

I can promise you, that if you’re honest with yourself, the answer would be NO!

REMEMBER THAT UNKIND WORDS, NAME CALLING,

INSULTS, THEY ALL HURT OTHERS.

SOMETIMES FOR YEARS AFTER THEY HAVE BEEN SAID!!!!!

And once they leave your mouth, you can’t take them back,

and “I’m sorry” doesn’t fix it.

Imagine if you will, a tree…

if you drive a nail into that tree, symbolizing the ugly words you hurl at others.

Then feel bad about putting that nail there and remove it, symbolizing the I’m sorry.

What is left when you look at that tree?

A hole in its bark, a scar……

the same thing that people leave with others when they lash out, or bully, or yell, or put down or name call.

The lesson of this blog…..

WORDS DO HURT!!

INSULTS DO HURT!!

PUT DOWNS HURT!!

NAME CALLING HURTS!!

BULLYING HURTS!!

SO STOP AND THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK,

BECAUSE YOU REALLY CAN’T TAKE IT BACK,

WITHOUT LEAVING SCARS!!!!!

What is Love?

What is Love?

I think that if you asked a hundred people that question, you would a variety of answers.

To some, love is giddy, joy, happiness, romance, relationships, marriage, fun times, memorable moments.

There’s love for mates, spouses, a child, parents, grandparents, grandchildren, family, friends, Church family.

There’s even love for animals lovers, the dogs, cats, birds, hamsters, fish, even a horse somebody rides.

There’s a love of hobbies: gardening, reading, shopping, crafts, hiking, fishing, hunting, Nascar, baseball, football.

There’s a love of some professions, they love their job, it fits them, and they take joy in it, it makes them happy.

There’s a love for food, everybody seems to have their favorites, and they love it, for me its caramel frappes.

There’s love for nature: some love the mountains, some flowers, some the beach, some the desert, or the rivers.

There’s a love for music; some it’s country, or rock, or gospel, or jazz, or classical, or rap or pop, maybe easy listening,

There are so many answers to the question, “What is Love?”

But for today, on this Valentines Day, I’m going to describe love from two points of view.

My view of love is caring for someone so much that you think of them several times a day, you smile when you see them pulling up at home, you do little things for them, “just because.”

You rejoice with them when they are happy, and you hurt with them when they are sad, or having a tough time.

You love them just as they are, no you may not like everything about them, but you simply love them as is.

You see them at their best and see them at their worst, yet you so very much still love them.

You enjoy their company, holding hands, walks together, sharing things together, or just simply sitting together talking, or maybe not saying anything at all, just simply being together, content as can be.

Love is trust and respect for one another; kindness and compromise; affection and laughter.

Love is hanging on through the hard times as well as the good times.

Love is helping when they are sick, in any and every way possible to help them feel better.

Love is being true, honest and faithful, putting them first above others.

To me, that is some of the attributes of love.

But the best way to describe love is from God’s point of view, after all, He is the creator of love.

He loved us so much that He offered His only Son, Jesus Christ on a cross, for us to have salvation.

God says we are to love Him, and we are to love others as we love ourselves.

And to quote the verses on love, I always go to the Holy Bible, I Corinthians Chapter 13, verses 4 – 8.

Verse 4 – Love suffereth long and is kind, love envieth not, love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.

Verse 5 – Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil.

Verse 6 – Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.

Verse 7 – Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Verse 8 – Love never faileth!

I hope you have a wonderful Valentines Day, and I hope that all the love that is shown today is true and wonderful.

But my real hope and prayer is that it doesn’t end today, but we practice it every day with everybody.

From my heart to yours: Happy Valentines Day!!!!

Pain Pill Dangers

 

Pain, doctors, pills, side effects, often addiction, worse yet overdose, death.

We live in such a time of pain pill addictions.

It’s so very sad, that something that was made to help a person with true aches and pains, has turned into a major epidemic where people are pill addicts and overdose victims.

From a personal standpoint, I can tell you they are very dangerous.

In some cases, when taken for a very short period of time, per doctors orders; they can leave you with side effects, sometimes serious.

Side effects that you may be forced to live with from now on.

I tell you that from actual personal experience, I was prescribed Dilaudid three times a day, for seven days after jaw surgery.

I could not function, all I did was sleep except when hubby woke me up for a boost to drink and more medicine.

When I finally finished it, and I finally could stay awake, slowly got my brain out of a weeklong fog, got the limbs working again, I thought to myself ok, ” I survived the surgery and the hardest part of recovery.”

But would you like to know a secret?

My problems were just beginning!

My entire body woke up, except for my stomach and digestive system.

The Dilaudid had paralyzed my digestive system.

It took a few years, several doctors, test after test, trial medications, and finally several trips to the Mayo Clinic in Florida, and even more tests, bunches of them, till I finally got a definitive answer and diagnosis.

What was the diagnosis? 

Severe gastroparesis due to the Dilaudid prescription that was prescribed in 2012, some four years earlier. 

Prognosis, basically my body could not process food as my digestive system should.  Plan of care,  boost and ensure and such drinks, at least six per day, lots of water, Benefiber and peppermint herbal tea, no food.

For how long you wonder?  The rest of my life; all because of a week of strong pain pills.

I have finally started getting used to it, I stick to my medical plan of care, eat some real food on Saturdays only, and then suffer in ways you can’t imagine til Wednesday when I medically treat it.

Week in, week out, this month, next month, next year, for the rest of my life.

But it’s hard, everywhere you look there is food.   Restaurants, billboards, magazines, television, movies, family get-togethers, Holidays, cookouts, Church socials, even grocery shopping. 

All of it is a never-ending reminder of the agony of pain pills effects on my system. 

I try so hard to act like it doesn’t bother me when everybody else is eating, and I’m drinking a protein drink. 

But it does, oh how it does.

I am 53 years old, I was in my mid 40’s when all this started, ensure and boost is for seriously sick Seniors, not a woman in her fifties.

Truthfully the whole situation just stinks, all because of pain pills.

People, please listen to me. 

Pain pills are ever so dangerous, the side effects, the fact that your body gets immune to them, and the pain gets worse, so you go back for higher doses again and again.

I don’t want anybody to ever go through what I do, and it can be avoided by just staying away from pain pills.

Most all of us have aches and pains, but use a muscle rub, ice, heat, massage, icy hot, aspercreme, bio freeze, the lists are endless, anything but pain pills.

Folks, please don’t become another statistic, don’t get so hooked on them that you become an opioid addict.

You’re worth more than that!  Your loved ones, family and friends care and love you dearly!

I’ve known so many people that have gotten seriously ill and some actually died from opioids. 

Some I think were by accident, simply took too many, but some were planned and deliberate. 

Don’t do that to your family and friends, not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

I’ve seen loved ones hooked on pills, stressing because they need their next ‘fix”.   Going to great lengths and stupid stunts to get it.

You can not start to imagine how much your addiction hurts your family and friends who love you! 

LISTEN TO ME, if you’re sitting there thinking, “Oh you’re wrong, my family and or my friends do it with me, it’s cool, it’s what everybody does.” 

Listen and please listen good.  They are NOT your friends. 

True friends want the best for you, and pain pills are anything but the best for you.

They destroy your body, you can become addicted, and keep wanting more and more, till one day you possibly overdose, and maybe, just maybe, somebody will find you in time, to get you medical help, maybe. 

To visit you in a hospital is one thing, but to have to visit you in a cemetery is the worst thing ever.

You’re precious, you’re wanted and you’re loved by so many! 

Don’t destroy your life and the life of your friends and loved ones because of stupid pain pills!

Don’t cause your loved ones to have to visit you in the cemetery with so many unanswered questions, the biggest one. 

“Why?” 

“Why did you do this?”

“Why didn’t you leave the pills alone?” 

“Why didn’t you care enough to stop what you were doing to yourself?”

“Why didn’t you come to us for help?”

“Why didn’t you love us enough to stop?”

“What do I tell our children when they ask why you had to die?”

“Why were you so selfish, that you didn’t care enough to leave the stupid pills alone?”

“Why did you leave me?”

“I love you, I need you, I so want you back here with me.”

“WHY?”

 

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