Physical Abuse

WARNING:  PICTURES AND  STORIES ARE HEART-WRENCHING, PLEASE BE PREPARED!!!

This is a tough topic for me because it hits home, both on a personal level as a victim and with others that I know that have been abused also. 

Please be patient as you read this and do not judge, it is not anybody’s place to judge but God’s.

This blog is not meant for a gossip session, it is simply a story of peoples lives that have been deeply hurt by abuse. 

It isn’t written for sympathy, it is written so prayerfully others will read it, talk to somebody trustworthy, make changes and not suffer the way so many millions of others and myself have.

We’re going to start at the beginning.  

INFANT ABUSE

Who could ever be such an evil monster as to hurt a tiny, helpless baby?

Yet it happens every day of every year, multiple times per day, some resulting in serious injuries and sadly some in death. 

So many babies are hurt by the shaken baby syndrome, why would you want to do that?

If your baby is crying then try singing to the wee one, or check the diaper, maybe they’re hungry.                                                                               

 If you start to lose control, gently lay your baby in its crib.

Leave the room and walk into a different room for just a couple of minutes.  

Compose yourself, remember this is a precious baby that depends on you to love it.

That precious baby crying a few minutes alone while you get composure is so much better than you losing your cool.

Hurting your baby, shaking your baby to death; or hitting that precious little one, or any other harm you may do.

Please don’t ever hurt your baby or any baby.  They are helpless and should only receive love and care.

God blessed you with a beautiful baby, but injuring or killing it, is one of the most gruesome cruel things you can possibly ever do. 

This precious baby was placed in a coma because some idiot lost their cool.

How?       Why?       How can you live with this?      Your own baby?

That precious baby trusts you to take care of it, help it, love the little one,  rock it to sleep, hold him, sing, cuddle, feed him or her, absolutely adore that precious baby of yours, or that you are caring for.

Love is not bringing harm to a baby, for any reason, at any time, ever!

Do not ever be a monster and hurt or murder your baby, or anybody else’s baby. 

There is absolutely no excuse for abuse or harm to a baby ever, not ever!!!!!

CHILD ABUSE

Nobody has a right to ever hurt a child either, ever, not under any circumstances.  

Abuse comes in many forms, verbal abuse – calling your child names, insulting them, comparing them to their siblings, telling them they will never be worth anything, those words hurt, and they hurt deep.  I know, I honestly truly know.

Then there’s physical abuse – slapping a child across the face, punching them with your fist.

Or shoving them down, throwing things at them, hitting them with whatever you can get your hands on at the moment. 

People that is absolutely wrong, each and every one of these actions are wrong, and bring harm to a child.

Abuse leaves scars in many forms, some visible, many not.

But often times, those memories and emotional scars, they will carry them throughout their lives.

The Bible says spare the rod, spoil the child.   But that does not mean to beat your child, ever.

A spanking should only be done with love. 

Never should it be done in anger, that can turn into a beating with anger and rage.

A belt that is used too harshly or out of anger can cause marks, bruises, and blood under the skin for days.

Not to mention the undue pain caused to your child, worse yet a hickory off a tree.

 They leave horrible painful blood “You better not tell a soul unless you want more where that came from.”

Oh people, parents, grandparents, babysitters, family, friends…

Please, please wake up, and treat children with love, and stop this madness of childhood abuse!!

   TEEN YEARS AND DATING

Girls, I want to tell you something point blank.

I learned this from experience first hand.

If you have a friend or boyfriend, and he yells at you, or puts you down, or insults you, or worse yet abuses you in any way form or fashion…..

Girls, LISTEN…. drop him like a hot potato, never to take him back.

If a guy treats you bad just when your friends or dating,

IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE IN TIME!

You may be thinking, I have no idea what I am talking about.

But I experienced it first hand, with a boyfriend, and it only got worse. 

Thank the Lord, I finally wised up and broke up with him.

Please, girls, listen, drop them, break up and steer clear.

If he hurts you now, he will most definitely hurt you more and more and even harsher even later.

PLEASE LISTEN, AND RUN!!!!               THE GUY IS NOT WORTH IT.

YOU ARE A VALUABLE WONDERFUL GIRL, AND YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!

MARITAL ABUSE

I’m going to talk straight from experience and the heart here. 

This part is very tough to write and probably hard to read for some of you, but sometimes God uses the really bad things in one’s life to help others.  

So, do not feel sorry for me as you read this, but listen to what I am saying and please, please learn from my mistakes. 

I don’t ever want another woman or any children to go through what we did.

Let’s start at the beginning, I married my high school sweetheart. 

He was 19, I was 16.  No, I was not pregnant, before you start thinking that. 

I suppose we got married a bit too young because the honeymoon part only lasted about a month.

Please know I loved and still love this man, God rest his soul. 

I don’t think two people in love can share 15 years together and have two children, and divorce just kills that love you shared. 

Yes, it changes, but yet, it is still there.

We started arguing a lot over family, finances, all those early marriage things.

Then one day he hit me across the face.

  I called my parents and moved back home. 

What happened next? 

 He called  and said, “I don’t know what came over me, come back home honey, I’m so sorry, and I’ll never hurt you again, I promise.”    

I went back and it wasn’t a month till it happened again.       

Same promises, good for a while, abuse again.                                                

NO, I wasn’t innocent in all of it, I would lash out at him big time when he started cussing and calling me names. 

But, I did not deserve to be physically abused, no person ever deserves physical abuse.

Time passed, we had our first child a son, a year later I was pregnant again with our baby girl. 

What happened? 

He wasn’t happy, he didn’t want another child, we were fighting constantly, and in anger, he threw me across a bed into the floor and wall and walked out. 

I was about 6 months pregnant, and neither he or the family in that room cared at all about what had just happened, nobody. 

I called my parents to come and get me and went back home to my parents’ house.

This time I filed for divorce and he called begging me to drop it daily, that he had changed, he was sorry, he would never ever hurt me again, he promised.

I so wanted us to work it out, we had one child, and one on the way; so I canceled the divorce, believed him and went back again. 

This pattern went on for years, good times, bad times, leaving, apologies and promises; then promises broken over and over.

Why did I stay because of our children, and because I loved him?

I always blamed it on the fact that he was tired, or had a rough day, or didn’t feel good. 

I was always making excuses to try to justify it in my mind.

Then one day, he struck our son in the face, we were in the car headed to a funeral.

  I was livid.

I told him he better not ever lay a hand on one of our children again.

But one day in one of his fits he threatened to hit our son again; our children were small both under the age of 10 years old. 

Yes, I know what I am about to tell you will probably shock the daylights out of you.

But I got our children and we went into our bedroom, told the kids to stay on that bed and not move.

When he yelled and cussed and tried to come in, I met him with a double barrel shotgun, pointed straight in his chest.

I very firmly told him if he ever laid a hand on our children or even threatened it I would kill him point blank, period!!

No, the gun wasn’t loaded and I just prayed hard he would think it was. 

He backed off then, and never once did he threaten that again.

It got better for a couple of years, but then it started again.  

There was a tragic accident, and it changed him horribly. 

And before we knew it he announced at Christmastime at the table during supper to all of us, “I am moving out the first of the year.”

He really did, then it was just me and the two kids, and our world was torn apart. 

But we managed, with God’s grace, me working and others help we got through it.

But it was a wicked divorce, with way too many harsh words, threats, and our two children’s world was shattered.

He never called them, didn’t even send birthday cards, he acted like they didn’t even exist for about a year.

What happened, I met somebody else, and somehow he found out.

Then, and only then, he suddenly wanted to be in our children’s lives,

But that was the absolute only good thing in the future that came out of me meeting somebody else.

SECOND MARRIAGE

THIS IS GOING TO BE MY HARDEST TIME TO TELL YOU ABOUT, IT IS STILL WAY TOO PAINFUL IN SO MANY WAYS TO EVEN THINK ABOUT.

I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES VERY OFTEN BECAUSE OF THIS TIME IN LIFE!!!

BUT WHAT I AM GOING TO TELL YOU IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN!!!!

I THOUGHT THIS GUY I MET WAS REALLY NICE, EVEN PICKED US UP AND TOOK US TO CHURCH IN THE VERY BEGINNING, BUT…

THE OLD SAYING BEWARE OF THE WOLF IN SHEEPS CLOTHING DESCRIBES THIS MONSTER OF A MAN.

THE TRUE SIDE OF HIM CAME OUT VERY QUICKLY, HE WAS THE EPITOME OF ABUSIVE.

HE DESTROYED MY LIFE, AND MY CHILDRENS LIVES.

WHY?                                          HOW?

HE CAME ONE NIGHT AT THREE IN THE MORNING WHILE I WAS ONLY DATING HIM AND BROKE OUT MY BEDROOM WINDOW.

I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO FORGIVE HIM AND GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE WHEN HE APOLOGIZED AND SAID IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

TIME PASSED AND I WAS CRAZY ENOUGH TO MARRY THIS GUY.

WE WERE IN CHURCH IT ALL SEEMED GOOD, BUT WITHIN THE FIRST MONTH…. 

HE HAD HIT ME SEVERAL TIMES AGAIN.

THEN ONE NIGHT HE WAS ANGRY AND LOCKED OUR BEDROOM DOOR.

MY CHILDREN HEARD IT SHUT AND CAME AND ASKED IF I WAS OKAY.

I HAD TO LIE TO MY BABIES AND SAY I WAS FINE.

WHILE LYING THERE IN SILENCE BEING THREATENED THAT HE WOULD HARM THEM NEXT AND BEING VIOLENTLY RAPED.

ONCE AGAIN HE  THREATENED ME THAT IF I TOLD ANYBODY OR TRIED TO LEAVE HE WOULD HURT MY CHILDREN.

I WAS AFRAID OF HIM,  FOR MYSELF, BUT MOSTLY FOR MY CHILDREN!!

I WAS TERRIFIED AND  AFRAID HE REALLY WOULD HURT THEM. 

SO I SAID NOTHING TO NOBODY.

I COULDN’T ALWAYS HIDE THE MARKS, THE BRUISES, THE BUSTED LIP,  BUT I WOULD SAY I FELL, OR RAN INTO THE DOOR.

I WOULD COVER THE BRUISES AND CUTS AS BEST AS POSSIBLE AND PRETENDED ALL WAS WELL. 

BUT HE TERRORIZED US, THREATENED ME WITH HARMING THE KIDS.

ABUSED ME, VERBALLY,  EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY.

HE EVEN BROKE MY LEG IN A FIT OF ANGER,  IT WAS HORRIBLE.

AND AGAIN WAS THREATENED TELL SOMEBODY AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR KIDS.

AFTER A TIME, MY SON WENT TO LIVE WITH HIS DAD, AND MY DAUGHTER FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTER.

I THOUGHT, AT LAST, I CAN GET AWAY FROM HIM, BUT….. 

WHEN I TOLD HIM I WAS FILING FOR A DIVORCE TO GET OUT,….

HE…. HE….  HE PINNED ME DOWN AND STABBED ME IN THREE PLACES WITH THIS LITTLE TOOL HE KEPT FOR WORK.

MY LEG, MY THIGH, AND THE SIDE OF MY CHEST.

HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING.

NOT DEEP ENOUGH TO NEED AN AMBULANCE, BUT DEEP ENOUGH TO CAUSE SEVERE PAIN. 

I REMEMBER BEING MORE TERRIFIED THAN I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE.

I WAS SO AFRAID HE WAS FINALLY GOING TO KILL ME.

I HURT AND BLED SO BAD, YET I DIDN’T TELL A SOUL, NEVER REPORTED IT.

I TREATED THE STAB WOUNDS THE BEST WAY I KNEW HOW AND REMAINED SILENT, PRETENDING ALL WAS WELL.

WHY?   BECAUSE HE TOLD ME HE WOULD DO THE SAME THINGS TO MY KIDS IF I MADE HIM LEAVE AND DIVORCED HIM.

TIME PASSED AND IT GOT BETTER AGAIN, NO ABUSE FOR MONTHS.  I THOUGHT AT LAST SOME PEACE.

THE KIDS GREW UP, THEY HAD EVEN STARTED VISITING SOME, THINGS HAD GOTTEN BETTER.

MY DAUGHTER MARRIED AND I WAS EXPECTING MY FIRST GRANDCHILD. 

ALL WAS WELL FOR A BIT, EVEN BACK IN CHURCH TOGETHER.

MY DAUGHTER AND HER HUSBAND EVEN STAYED WITH US FOR A LITTLE BIT IN THE BEGINNING TIL THEY HAD A PLACE OF THEIR OWN.

THEY GOT SETTLED IN AND THAT BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL WAS BORN!!!

THEY FOUND A PLACE TO RENT AND START THEIR LIFE TOGETHER. 

BUT HE WAS JEALOUS AND ANGRY THAT I SPENT TIME WITH THEM, BOUGHT THINGS FOR THEM AND IT STARTED AGAIN.

THEN ONE EVENING I WAS FIXING SUPPER,  THE KIDS WERE COMING TO EAT WITH US.

HE GOT MAD AND PULLED A BUTCHER KNIFE AND SWUNG AT ME.

THAT WAS THE BREAKING POINT. 

I GOT THROUGH SUPPER LIKE EVERYTHING WAS JUST FINE.

WENT TO BED, SCARED AND ANGRY AND TIRED OF IT ALL.

THE NEXT MORNING I THOUGHT THE KIDS WERE GROWN,  HE CANT HURT THEM NOW.

I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE AND NEVER EVER COME BACK AGAIN, I FILED FOR A DIVORCE.

I GOT AN ORDER OF PROTECTION AND STARTED LIVING MY LIFE, THOUGHT ALL WOULD BE WELL.

YET, I WAS SO ASHAMED AND ANGRY WITH MYSELF THAT I NEVER SPOKE UP, NEVER REPORTED ANYTHING. 

THAT I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO PUT UP WITH THIS ABUSE, RAPE, STAB WOUNDS, BROKEN BONES IN SILENCE FOR YEARS.

NOBODY UNDERSTOOD WHY I WAS WITH HIM, I WOULDN’T TELL THEM FOR FEAR OF MY CHILDRENS SAFETY.

I WAS AN IDIOT TO STAY!!    I WAS AN IDIOT NOT TO KICK HIM OUT!!    I WAS AN IDIOT FOR NOT PRESSING CHARGES!!

I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN  A DIVORCE YEARS EARLIER.

YET INSTEAD I BELIEVED HIS THREATS AND LIES.

I  WAS  PUTTING ME, MY CHILDREN, AND MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS THROUGH SUCH TURMOIL.

HE WENT ON TO STALK ME FOR YEARS HERE AND THERE, FOLLOWING ME, CALLS, MESSAGES.

BUT AT LAST, I DONT FEEL THREATENED BY HIM ANYMORE.

YES, THE NIGHTMARES STILL HAPPEN, THE DOCTORS CALL IT PTSD.

SIMPLY BECAUSE OF ALL THE ABUSE AND TRAUMA AND FEAR, I ENDURED.

BUT PRAISE THE LORD, I DON’T LET HIM BOTHER ME ANYMORE!

LADIES, DONT PUT UP WITH IT, LEAVE, FLEE, GO SOMEWHERE SAFE, FILE CHARGES, FILE FOR A DIVORCE, GET AN ORDER OF PROTECTION.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE…… LEARN FROM THESE STORIES. 

PLEASE GET AWAY FROM THE ABUSIVE MEN. 

THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT, THEY WILL NOT CHANGE AND IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE AS TIME PASSES.

MY PRAYER IS THAT YOU LISTEN WITH YOUR HEAD, AND NOT YOUR HEART.

THAT YOU WILL GET OUT AND DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU, YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR LIFE.

PLEASE LISTEN.

I HAD A HEAD INJURY FROM MY FIRST HUSBAND DELIBERATELY KNOCKING ME DOWN ON PAVEMENT AND BUSTING THE BACK OF MY HEAD.

I WAS RAPED, BEATEN, STABBED THREE TIMES, AND RECEIVED BROKEN BONES FROM THE NEXT HUSBAND.

AND NOW I ALSO LIVE WITH A PERMANENT NECK INJURY AND OTHER HEALTH ISSUES THAT CANT BE HEALED.

RUN LADIES, RUN NEVER TO LOOK BACK, NEVER TO GO BACK.

PLEASE LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!!!

SENIOR ABUSE

How many of you have heard of Senior Care facilities and abuse?  If you’re like me, way too many times.

Just one time is too much!

Yet it happens often, and most of the time by the ones that are supposed to be taking care of them.

There are so many forms of physical abuse for Seniors in Nursing Homes and Care facilities.

There are physical confrontations where the caregiver, will push them, get them way too fast, or set them down way too hard, pull on their arms out of anger, berate them verbally, or neglect them completely knowing they need assistance and care; and what comes along with this mistreatment, bullying, that they better be quiet about it if they know what’s good for them. 

Many of our Seniors live in silence, fearful of what the abusive caregivers or others may do to them next, and they are way too frightened to speak up.

For the most part, families put their loved ones in a facility thinking it is the best thing for them.  But people, if you really love them and want the best for them; then you better be visiting often, phone calls are fine, yes but true eye to eye visits are going to help you know for sure about your loved ones. 

I have both worked, volunteered and visited many times in Nursing homes and Assisted Living Facilities.  Some professionals take great care of their residents, love them dearly.

But others sadly are horribly neglected or abused in various ways, personally, I think these cruel idiots need to be fired with the truth being put in their records, professional license revoked never to work in that profession again. 

Who is most apt to be abused, those that have nobody that cares enough to visit and talk with them.  To keep a known presence with your loved one. 

Believe me, you would be shocked how many of our precious Senior citizens are placed in a nursing home, without so much as a phone call, visit or anything from a family member or friend.                                                 

 It’s like, out of sight, out of mind.

To me, that is deplorable, these dear souls, loved you, raised you, took care of you, was there for you; and yet people just place them in a nursing home, and basically never ever return again.  I know of a few cases right here in my hometown.”

That’s so wrong on every level imaginable.   A  true tragedy people, a selfish, unloving cruel neglectful tragedy, shame on all those that do this!!!

And it’s not just in Nursing homes or assisted living facilities that this happens. 

It, unfortunately, happens in the Seniors own home, by caregivers and even family.  

There is abuse in some cases when the Senior is able to stay in their own home, with caregivers stopping in to help them.  I’ve known of occasions where the caregivers would only do part of their job to take care of them or be harsh with them. 

Then there are the adult children that move their loved ones in with them, or the siblings and family members take turns being with their loved ones in their own home.          

What happens some times?      

The family members get tired of their loved ones constant needs and snaps at them or worse.

 What are you thinking??????         

 Are you completely nuts?????? 

You do not hurt other people at any time, there is no reason for it, EVER!!!!   

PEOPLE, WAKE UP, GROW UP, THAT IS SO VERY WRONG.

NOBODY SHOULD EVER ABUSE ANOTHER PERSON, EVER!!!!!  

SO  STOP!      BE SMART ENOUGH TO GET YOURSELF COUNSELING, ANGER MANAGEMENT!       

STOP THE MADNESS!!!!          STOP THE CYCLES!!!!!          STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!!!

PEOPLE PLEASE IF YOU OR SOMEBODY YOU KNOW IS BEING ABUSED IN ANY WAY………..

PLEASE PLEASE, SPEAK UP,  I SO WISH THAT I HAD, TELL THE TRUTH TO SOMEBODY!!!

DONT MAKE THE MISTAKES I MADE, AND LIVE IN FEAR, WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM, FEELING AS IF YOU BROUGHT IT ON, THAT IT ALL MUST BE YOUR FAULT, OR YOU DESERVE IT!!!

NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY EVER DESERVES TO BE ABUSED IN ANY WAY FORM OR FASHION!!!

MOST OF THE TIME THE ABUSERS THREATS IF YOU TELL ARE SIMPLY SCARE TACTICS TO KEEP YOU SILENT!!!

PLEASE WHETHER IT IS AN INFANT, TODDLER, CHILD, TEENAGER, YOUNG ADULT, MIDDLE AGE ADULT, OR SENIOR; SPEAK UP, TELL SOMEBODY YOU TRUST AND GET HELP NOW!!!!

YOU ARE A VALUABLE WORTHY PERSON, YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR FROM SOMEBODY EVER!!!

PLEASE SPEAK UP, TELL SOMEBODY!!!

I SO WISH I HAD SO MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE, DONT MAKE MY MISTAKES!!!