Skip to content

Archive for


The Dangers of Unforgiveness

Have you ever been hurt by somebody in such a way, that you didn’t think you could ever forgive them?

If we all were honest I would say we all have many times by many different people.

I know I have, I also know it took me a long time to truly forgive some of them.

But as long as you hold on to whatever hurt you have, or stay mad at the person, the only person that generally is affected in such a negative way is yourself.

I’ve had way more than my share of wrongs done to me, way more than I should have.

Please don’t think this is a woe is me story for sympathy because it’s not.

This blog is one of those please don’t follow in my footsteps blog.

And may I ask you to be open-minded as you read this?

It’s things gone wrong in my world that I hope to spare others from having happened to them.

I had a great childhood, our parents always made sure we had a roof over our head, plenty to eat, and we enjoyed a lot of fun times together. But there were times it wasn’t so wonderful!

My Mom and I never did seem to be able to be close as a mother and daughter should. It caused a lot of torment, tears and emotional scars. Some which I still deal with today once in a while.

But, she’s my Mom and I love her, and in my heart, I so long to have a truly genuine relationship as a mother and daughter should. That really hurts, but I’ve forgiven the wrongs, and try hard to forget the hurts.

Why? Because that type of relationship and static affects both of us, as well as our other family members.

Then there’s being left for another woman. You talking about knocking you to your knees, that will do it in a hurry.

Almost fifteen years of marriage, and two children and you get told at the Holidays he’s leaving. He found somebody else.

That crushed our world, please don’t think he was just a horrible man, because he wasn’t.

But he had a tragedy happen just a few months before the announcement. And Satan knew just when and where to pounce. I loved that man so, yet I hated him for what he did to our family, especially how he hurt our children!

But most of all I was ANGRY at her, for wooing him away. That anger grew and stewed and seethed inside me something awful.

No matter how hard I prayed, or attended church, or read the Bible, I couldn’t get past the rage I felt towards her.

But the strangest thing happened, he and I finally were able to talk a little bit without it turning into a war, and then I heard at work she was desperately sick. I felt sorry for her, I felt true sadness for her.

Then that Sunday night in choir practice I requested prayer for her. Yeah, I know, I was shocked when the words came out of my mouth too. But, never the less, I did.

I asked the choir members to pray for her for healing and for God to watch over her as only He could.

The most amazing thing happened when we said Amen, after all our prayers. I had peace, real honest to goodness down in your soul peace that only God can give, when you forgive somebody and set them free.

The seething anger, the hatred, the vengeful thoughts, the horrible despicable things I thought about her, all just simply went away, and was replaced with God’s mercy and grace!!

Please don’t hold unforgiveness in your heart of any kind toward anybody.

Please don’t let it destroy your joy and do that to you. There will be times you don’t think of the occasion at all.

That ugly monster will not show itself all the time, but it’s there lurking just waiting for the right moment to attack your emotions over and over again.

Unforgiveness is like cancer that just consumes more and more of you til your left just a bitter angry shell of a person.

It’s also like kudzoo that once that first little vine gets started, it spreads like wildfire inside you consuming all that is good, noble and peaceful.

Learn to forgive folks, it will bring a feeling of peace to your heart, a smile to your face and restful sleep at night.

No, it’s not always easy to do, but it’s necessary to do if you want a life of peace.

Sometimes you have to pray over and over again, “Lord help me to love this person as You do Father, help me to remember I choose to forgive this person, with Your help Lord!”

I promise you that if you sincerely ask God to help you, He will.

If that’s not enough motivation, stop and think of all the things you have done wrong to others, and all the sins and shortcomings you have done against God.

You want forgiveness from them and especially the Lord, don’t you?

Well, then don’t you think you should offer it to others as well?

You will be so thankful that you did!


Til next time!